Obaa Yaa
Should I hold on?
I started dating a young lady about four months ago and our relationship seems to be progressing well. I am not someone who is too clingy as l prefer to create enough space for my partner to do what she pleases. But I have noticed a worrying trend in my new girlfriend. She stays up late on her phone anytime she visits me and would text all night.
Her posture prompted me to snoop on her phone and I have ‘intercepted’ her communication with multiple persons which cannot be described as a ‘friendly chat’. I have not confronted her yet but I noticed she had since changed the password to her phone.
Unlike other chat mates on her phone, she replies to my text messages with short and straightforward answers which I sometimes find quite insulting and derogatory. I am beginning to have second thoughts about our relationship but I still want to hold on for a while. Am I making the right decision or should call it to quit?
Worried Mathias, Sakumono
Dear Mathias,
This is the time to give your partner some ‘space’ as you have rightly indicated in your submission. The relationship is still young and perhaps your partner is still considering other options at the moment. Though her conduct may not be too appropriate, you need to ‘withdraw’ from her a bit. Limit how often you check on her and if she truly loves you, she may express concern about your ‘withdrawal’.
Also, draw her attention to her late-night conversations and if she does not show any signs of ending amorous conversations with other people online, then you can equally advise yourself to end the relationship as quickly as possible. Don’t be a beggar for her attention and love in the relationship. Besides, you cannot change a person who is not willing to change.
I am in my final year in the university. My elder sister has been very supportive after the death of our parents.
My sister has a boyfriend who visits often. Anytime he comes around, she wonders why I don’t entertain him and why I suddenly find an excuse to leave the room. She takes it as me being cold, even jealous, and it angers her more than I can even imagine.
She has no idea about what is going on behind her back. He has asked me out on several occasions and looks at me in a lustful manner.
But my problem is that I never told my sister the real reason I avoid her boyfriend. I have kept my distance, not out of hate for her or for him, but because I carry a secret that would break her heart.
Princess, Tema.
Dear Princess,
Why are you keeping this away from your sister? As long as you continue to live under the same roof with your sister, tell her about her boyfriend’s behaviour.
Have you by any chance confided in any relative? I’ll advise you to open up to someone, at least to take the weight off your shoulder.
Act fast before the situation exacerbates.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 23 years who lives in a compound house around Kasoa in the Central Region. I live with my auntie.
We are not always at home because she spends most of the time at the market due to her business, and I am mostly on campus.
One sunny afternoon, I overheard some tenants talking about another who takes her bath in a basin and throws the water away. We have two big bathrooms, but just because she doesn’t want to scrub, she has refused to bathe there.
Although she is usually not around due to her work as a nurse, it doesn’t warrant her to do as she pleases. We have spoken to the landlord about it, but she seems unconcerned. What should I do?
Beatrice, Accra
Dear Beatrice,
I am surprised that your landlord seems unperturbed.
Have you considered having a conversation with the tenant to find out why she ignores the chores? She does not seem bothered about the kind of perception the other tenants have about her.
Why would a young lady who is a nurse and an advocate for healthy living be this lazy and unconcerned about her surroundings?
No excuse should be tolerated just because she’s a nurse and mostly not around.
