Obaa Yaa
She must leave my house
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Having prayed seven years for the gift of the womb, l was blessed with a bouncy baby boy. This has brought about the need to arrange for a babysitter to step in when my maternity leave expires after three months.
Very helpful as she has always been, my mother arranged for a lady who has started work with zeal.
I was really impressed with the performance of this lady, and thought she was the type who l could confidently hand over my house schedules to and be rest assured that everything would be done according to my desire.
The sort of love that has developed between this lady and my first child is quite pleasing and attracts the attention of all visitors to the house.
Pleased with the performance of this lady, l once mentioned to my husband that it would be ideal if we arranged for an entrepreneurial skill training in addition to the monthly allowance we pay her.
This is to serve as a way of compensation for the invaluable services she has been rendering ever since she stepped foot in our house.
Unfortunately, reports from different sources had revealed that this lady was secretly comforting my husband in bed.
Without trying to verify the authenticity of these gossips, l am inclined to believe them because of my husband’s sudden change in character towards this lady.
My husband used to complain bitterly about all that this girl did, but he surprisingly sees no fault in this girl any longer.
What should l do to save my marriage?
Cynthia, Accra.
Dear Cynthia,
This is a dicey issue which must be carefully weighed and the possible options considered before you make a formal allegation.
You should imagine how embarrassing you will feel if this allegation turns out to be unfounded.On the contrary, you may end up worsening an already suspicious atmosphere in the house.
Any rational person with a good conscience will definitely feel uneasy when such matters are being alluded to in a conversation.
This is an opportunity for you to test their bodylanguage at different times to know their reactions. This will give you a clear picture of what is at stake, together with any further investigations you may decide to undertake.
Having done your underground checks, the next step for you to take is to expel your babysitter. Though it will be a difficult decision in view of the invaluable services that she has been rendering, you have to do it in order to save your marriage.
Know that it is not all men who have the ability to keep the marital bed intact.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
