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Obaa Yaa

He keeps harassing me

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I am a 26-year-old girl in a tertiary institution with the optimism to excel in my academic programme.

Unfortunately, a married man who is a friend to a cousin of mine has been harassing me every day. Though this man is married with three children, he has been showering expensive gifts on me in a bid to entice me to go out with him.

Though he had offered to sponsor me to read a professional course, l was not interested and l had made myself clear to him, yet he would not listen to me.I have the conviction that accepting such offers could lead to unacceptable demands from him.

Since this man is married, l am confused and would not like to fall in love with a married man to ruin my future eventually.

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Kindly help me out of this problem before l commit myself.

Linda, Takoradi.

Dear Linda,

The inference that you would not like to fall in love with a married man speaks volumes and you must stick to that.

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Your decision not to accept gifts from this man because of the consequences is equally good and l wished all young girls would be fast to read through the evil plans of some men.

The possibility of using your cousin to achieve his aim is also great, for that matter, you must be careful not to fall a victim to his scheming.

Can you imagine the embarrassment you will give yourself if this man’s wife gets to know about a romance between you and her husband?

Since your desire is to do all within your power to excel academically, you must endeavour to study hard and refrain from impediments which are likely to come your way.

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I wish you well.

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Obaa Yaa

It’s a no for civil engineering

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MY daughter completed Senior High School this year and she had a very good grade.

With her grade, her father wants her to pursue Computer Science Engineering, but she had an interest in Civil Engineering.

Finally, admission forms are out and my daughter got Civil Engineering.

Her father doesn’t pay for her school fees because she did not choose the course he wanted her to offer.

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Due to this, they don’t see eye to eye and it is causing tension at home.

Please, how do I reconcile father and daughter? I am so stressed with what’s going on between the two. Thank you.

Enyonam, Keta.

Dear Enyonam,

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BOTH of them have legitimate feelings: the father may be worried about her future and wants to guide her, while your daughter wants to pursue a field she is genuinely interested in.

Do not try to settle the matter when either person is angry. The purpose should not be to decide who is right, but to find a solution that protects their relationship and your daughter’s future.

Ask your daughter to explain why she chose Civil Engineering.

She should explain what attracts her to the course, the subjects involved, the career opportunities and, importantly, why she believes she can succeed in it. If she has researched the universities and career paths, she should present that information to her father.

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Talk to the father that financial support should not become a weapon.

It is understandable that a parent wants to have a say in a child’s education, especially when paying the fees. However, withdrawing educational support simply because his daughter chose a different legitimate course can damage their relationship. He can express his disagreement while still supporting her and allowing her to take responsibility for her choice.

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Obaa Yaa

My crush is giving me attitude

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Dear Araba,

THERE is this handsome gentleman in my area I am crushing on badly. He gave me a lift to the office a month ago and I mistakenly farted in the car.

When the incident happened in the car, he just stared at me but looked unbothered, which made me a bit comfortable.

Araba, Takoradi.

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Dear Araba,

HONESTLY, I don’t see anything wrong with that. You are human, and human beings fart. The fact that he didn’t say anything or make you feel uncomfortable probably means he understood that it was an accidental, normal bodily function.

Ever since that incident happened, he has stopped calling or texting me. He doesn’t even give me a lift any longer.

Please, tell me, is it a crime to fart in your crush’s car?

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What is keeping you embarrassed after months is not the fart itself but the meaning you have attached to it. You have replayed the incident so many times that it has become bigger in your mind than it probably ever was in his.

Just confront him that it was a mistake and, for that matter, we should let go of everything and move on.

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