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Obaa Yaa

She is in love with another man

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

l am a 29-year-old farmer and my lady is 25. We are in the third year of our relationship and we love each other dearly.

If l do not see her for hours in a day, l would take the pains to look for her. She cooks for me every day at her own expense, and buys many things for me, including some nice shirts.  

She often accompanies me to places, provided she has time to spend.

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My lady is a trader and l have given her a substantial capital to trade with.

The problem is that when l talk to her about marriage, she does not give me a favourable response. This gives me the impression that she is no longer interested to marry me.

My checks showed that another man had proposed to marry her and she did not deny it when l enquired from her.

I advised her to break up the relationship with the gentleman but there is evidence that she is still in close contact with him.

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I am troubled as l do not want to lose this girl. What should l do?

John, Akuse

Dear John,

Love for the opposite sex should flow naturally, therefore, it is not advisable to force someone to marry you.

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You must be commended for taking pains in supporting this lady to be financially independent.

The fact that she did not deny her relationship with the gentleman is an indication that she is taking time to make comparison between the two of you before making her final decision.

You have to check whether your behaviour is what this lady frowns upon or there is something about you that she detests.

If she has finally decided to opt for the gentleman, then quickly re-organise your life, take some time to get another lover who will love you to guarantee a blessed and peaceful marriage life in the future.

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Obaa Yaa

He introduced me wrongly

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.

He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.

When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.

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He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.

I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.

Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?

Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.

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Dear Araba,

FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.

Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.

So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.

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However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.

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Obaa Yaa

My wife wants 2 more children

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.

Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.

Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.

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As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.

I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.

My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.

Please advise me.

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Amevi, Ho.


Dear Amevi,

THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.

There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.

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You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.

If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.

If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.

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