Obaa Yaa
She cannot keep secret
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I confided in a lady friend and narrated most of the challenges I was having in my relationship with her. Surprisingly, what I thought I was sharing in confidence is now the talk of town.
I have regretted sharing my concerns with her.
Quite recently, she did a similar thing to a friend who did not take kindly to it at all.
Now she is in trouble and I have to come in to settle the issue.
She is a good friend though but the only issue I have with her is her inability to keep secrets.
How do I help her to overcome this habit?
Stevo, Tema.
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Dear Stevo,
In the first place for how long have you known your said friend? Whether it has been long or quite recently, at least you should have studied her well enough before confiding in her.
Anyway, you have learnt your lesson and I hope next time you will see before you leap.
She has demonstrated that she cannot be trusted so you should be able to set a limit to the kind of conversations you have with her.
In order for her to overcome this habit without embarrassing herself, I suggest you have a talk with her on the need to control her tongue and also learn to appreciate the trust and confidence people repose in her.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.
However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.
Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.
According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.
Thomas, Wa.
Dear Thomas,
First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.
If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.
Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.
At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.
A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.
If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.
I wish you all the best.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
