Obaa Yaa
, ‘Protect your virginity, it is necessary’
Though our parents, guardians and some female teachers always urge us to preserve our virginity, live acceptable moral lives, concentrate on our studies, since that is the most essential thing for us to do, we often put death ears to such appeals and do what pleases us.
I obeyed this advice until l came into contact with a gentleman who initially behaved as though he had my interest at heart.
He bought dresses for me, half pieces of cloth and promised to sponsor my education to whichever level l desired to reach.
Unknown to me, this man was not genuinely seeking my interest but rather provided the opportunity to have an affair with me and l got pregnant to my surprise.
This development has soiled the trust my parents and loved ones had in me and was responsible for the bad relationship between me and my family.
With this bitter experience, l would like to advice the youth to listen to their parents, guardians and those placed in authority over them.
Since then, l have never been the same young lady who was surrounded with love and gifts showered on me.
This is my appeal to the youth.
Mary, Accra.
Dear Mary,
It is often said that experience is the best teacher, therefore, having gone through this problem has placed you in the right position to advice the youth. It will be ideal if they listen to you.
The most important thing is that you should not wait for the problem to arise before you think of resolving it.
Be guided by the adage that “a stitch in time, saves nine”.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.
He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.
When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.
He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.
I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.
Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?
Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.
Dear Araba,
FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.
Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.
So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.
However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.
Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.
Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.
As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.
I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.
My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.
Please advise me.
Amevi, Ho.
Dear Amevi,
THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.
There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.
You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.
If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.
If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.
