Obaa Yaa
, ‘Protect your virginity, it is necessary’
Though our parents, guardians and some female teachers always urge us to preserve our virginity, live acceptable moral lives, concentrate on our studies, since that is the most essential thing for us to do, we often put death ears to such appeals and do what pleases us.
I obeyed this advice until l came into contact with a gentleman who initially behaved as though he had my interest at heart.
He bought dresses for me, half pieces of cloth and promised to sponsor my education to whichever level l desired to reach.
Unknown to me, this man was not genuinely seeking my interest but rather provided the opportunity to have an affair with me and l got pregnant to my surprise.
This development has soiled the trust my parents and loved ones had in me and was responsible for the bad relationship between me and my family.
With this bitter experience, l would like to advice the youth to listen to their parents, guardians and those placed in authority over them.
Since then, l have never been the same young lady who was surrounded with love and gifts showered on me.
This is my appeal to the youth.
Mary, Accra.
Dear Mary,
It is often said that experience is the best teacher, therefore, having gone through this problem has placed you in the right position to advice the youth. It will be ideal if they listen to you.
The most important thing is that you should not wait for the problem to arise before you think of resolving it.
Be guided by the adage that “a stitch in time, saves nine”.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM a 32-year-old lady who got married two months ago. My husband had a female friend who was very supportive during our marriage.
I appreciate her care and support to my family but it seems she wants to try my patience. During our honeymoon, the lady kept calling my husband to check up on us and it was worse when we came back from honeymoon.
My husband’s attitude has changed drastically and sometimes I wonder if my husband knows I exist at all. I decided to have a talk with my husband about what was going on but he told me he doesn’t see anything wrong with that.
My marriage is just two months but I already have regrets. Obaa Yaa, please help me.
Nana Ama, Nungua.
Dear Ama,
MY dear, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It feels like you are hurt and betrayed by your husband’s behaviour and the woman’s interference in your marriage.
You deserve to be respected and prioritised in your marriage. It’s not ideal for your husband to be giving all his attention to someone else, especially a best friend who is a female.
Talk to your husband again, calmly and clearly, about how you’re feeling. If he still doesn’t listen or respect your views on the matter, then you have to reevaluate the marriage and prioritise your own happiness.
As for the woman, she’s not your problem. Focus on your own relationship and don’t let her actions dictate your emotions. You can’t control her behaviour, but you can control how you respond to it.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
