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Obaa Yaa

, ‘Protect your virginity, it is necessary’

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Though our parents, guardians and some female teachers  always urge us to preserve our virginity, live acceptable moral  lives, concentrate on our studies, since that is  the most essential thing for us to do, we often put death ears to such appeals  and do what pleases us.

I obeyed this advice until l came into contact with a gentleman who initially behaved as though he had my interest at heart.

He bought dresses for me, half pieces of cloth and promised to sponsor my education to whichever level l desired to reach.

Unknown to me, this man was not genuinely seeking my interest but rather provided the opportunity to have an affair with me and l got pregnant to my surprise.

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This development has soiled the trust my parents and loved ones had in me and was responsible for the bad relationship between me and my family.

With this bitter experience, l would like to advice the youth to listen to their parents, guardians and those placed in authority over them. 

Since then, l have never been the same young lady who was surrounded with love and gifts showered on me.

This is my appeal to the youth.

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Mary, Accra.

Dear Mary,

It is often said that experience is the best teacher, therefore, having gone through this problem has placed you in the right position to advice the youth. It will be ideal if they listen to you.

The most important thing is that you should not wait for the problem to arise before you think of resolving it.

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Be guided by the adage that “a stitch in time, saves nine”.

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Obaa Yaa

It’s a no for civil engineering

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MY daughter completed Senior High School this year and she had a very good grade.

With her grade, her father wants her to pursue Computer Science Engineering, but she had an interest in Civil Engineering.

Finally, admission forms are out and my daughter got Civil Engineering.

Her father doesn’t pay for her school fees because she did not choose the course he wanted her to offer.

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Due to this, they don’t see eye to eye and it is causing tension at home.

Please, how do I reconcile father and daughter? I am so stressed with what’s going on between the two. Thank you.

Enyonam, Keta.

Dear Enyonam,

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BOTH of them have legitimate feelings: the father may be worried about her future and wants to guide her, while your daughter wants to pursue a field she is genuinely interested in.

Do not try to settle the matter when either person is angry. The purpose should not be to decide who is right, but to find a solution that protects their relationship and your daughter’s future.

Ask your daughter to explain why she chose Civil Engineering.

She should explain what attracts her to the course, the subjects involved, the career opportunities and, importantly, why she believes she can succeed in it. If she has researched the universities and career paths, she should present that information to her father.

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Talk to the father that financial support should not become a weapon.

It is understandable that a parent wants to have a say in a child’s education, especially when paying the fees. However, withdrawing educational support simply because his daughter chose a different legitimate course can damage their relationship. He can express his disagreement while still supporting her and allowing her to take responsibility for her choice.

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Obaa Yaa

My crush is giving me attitude

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Dear Araba,

THERE is this handsome gentleman in my area I am crushing on badly. He gave me a lift to the office a month ago and I mistakenly farted in the car.

When the incident happened in the car, he just stared at me but looked unbothered, which made me a bit comfortable.

Araba, Takoradi.

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Dear Araba,

HONESTLY, I don’t see anything wrong with that. You are human, and human beings fart. The fact that he didn’t say anything or make you feel uncomfortable probably means he understood that it was an accidental, normal bodily function.

Ever since that incident happened, he has stopped calling or texting me. He doesn’t even give me a lift any longer.

Please, tell me, is it a crime to fart in your crush’s car?

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What is keeping you embarrassed after months is not the fart itself but the meaning you have attached to it. You have replayed the incident so many times that it has become bigger in your mind than it probably ever was in his.

Just confront him that it was a mistake and, for that matter, we should let go of everything and move on.

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