Obaa Yaa
Can l marry this lady?
This lady and l belonged to the youth group of our church and we became very close in the process and this led me to develop an interest in her.
Going by the advice of my parents that l should do well to keep my moral life above reproach, l ensured that l did not take advantage of any of the girls in church.
I decided to study the lifestyle of this lady after sometime before l will make a definite decision as to whether l will marry her.
With time, l discovered to my surprise that this lazy is the type who will not lift a finger in the house and does not know how to prepare food.
Though l am always in her company together with her elder sister, it has never crossed my mind to propose love to her as a voice kept telling me to take my time.
It was not quite long when l became aware of the enviable qualities in the elder sister and naturally, my attention was drawn to her.
l have decided to marry this elder sister instead of the younger one l had fixed my eyes on.
Though l have made up my mind to marry, l have not disclosed my intention to either of them.
Will l be wrong if l decide to marry this lady instead?
William, Cape Coast.
Dear William,
How l wished the youth copied your example because this is the best way to study people, especially someone you will spend the rest of your life with.
That is why marriage counselors and parents always caution the youth to distant themselves from premarital sex because it is a way of promoting promiscuity and the complex problems associated with it. An intercourse would have made it impossible for you to identify her shortfalls and probably end relations with her.
It would have been impossible for you to marry this second lady if you had had an affair with the younger sister.
You are at liberty to inform this lady of your decision to marry her. The problem would have arisen if you had promised to marry the younger sister who caught your attention at the first instance.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
