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Peace, be still

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• The elephant and the umbrella must not be enemies, they must dine together
• The elephant and the umbrella must not be enemies, they must dine together

In certain parts of Africa, you can’t walk for 100 metres without look­ing over your shoulders twice. May be you’re a top-ranker of a political group and a member of an opposition or rival group might be following you with the intention of putting a bullet into your bloody head.

So when you look back and you see about four people following you rather closely, you’ll start wondering which of them is the killer. You’ll get con­fused and in an attempt to identify the assassin, you’ll start defining the word ‘Killer’. How does the forehead of a killer look like? Do killers have high intelligence quotients, and are they supposed to be married?

When someone calls you from be­hind, you’ll be tempted either to bark or to take off like an Olympic athlete. Just as you are about to decide which is safer of the two, you will realise that the caller is a friend. You breathe easily now. But you still have to ex­amine his eyebrows to see if it fits the definition of a killer.

It may also be that your style of walking suggests you’re a rebel and must be gunned down before you start misbehaving. The fact is that, rebels are very stylish and it shows in their gait.

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Imagine you closed from work and you were having a nice time with your friends and just then two hooded fellows entered the joint and started spraying everybody with a Kalash­nikov AK 47 rifle. Stampede, Press reports-18 people died, 12 critically injured, Bar man’s head blown off, and his daughter in hospital in critical condition with an amputated thigh.

Sounds impossible isn’t it? But it is happening in Angola, Togo (which is next door), Liberia, Mozambique, all because of political misunderstandings and socio-politico- economic non­sense.

In Sikaman, the Hand of God is stretched over the territory. Peace be still! God is with us, and we must be thankful.

When a cloud of controversy formed over the results declared at the presi­dential polls, many chanted war songs, some silently, and there was cause for concern. The atmosphere was charged with looming violence.

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The opposition refused to contest the parliamentary elections and all thought that was a prelude to civil war. The Christians prayed, Moslems worshipped, Buddhists chanted and Krishnas sang. The time- bomb was defused, and tension fizzled out. And there was peace, heavenly peace, nothing but peace.

It is most commendable that al­though possible strife was forecast, the opposition displayed maturity and today, you can drink in a beer bar without any fear of your head being blown off by an idiot.

Even for us journalists who close late at night, there is no fear. I’ve discharged my bodyguard because I am not in any real danger. Moreover, he has been demanding double pay and I’ve also been reminding him that he is not a civil servant. “Only Civil Ser­vants have the constitutional right to demand double pay, don’t you know?” I often tell him.

He also tells me he is going to buy a copy of the 1992 Constitution to look for the clause on double payment. I pity him because it would take him a life-time to track down the clause since it doesn’t exist, anyway, I’ve paid him off handsomely though and given him an over-coat as his end-of-service benefit.

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The whole palaver that journalists are vulnerable and relatively more endangered than any other human breed. Fact is that not everything we write go down well with everybody. Some of our pieces cannot be swal­lowed, much more digested without the swallower vomiting his or her intestines out.

Because of this we make friends just as we make enemies. And with jour­nalism someone can be a friend today and an enemy tomorrow just because you have stepped a bit on his last toe, without asking permission.

Sometimes some people are both friends and enemy simultaneously and they are the most dangerous because when a person slaps you in the dark, you’d wonder how a friend could slap you that hard.

The kind of letters and messages we receive these days demand that I go in search of my bodyguard whom I pensioned not quite long ago. He has the capacity and ability of identify­ing enemies and potential enemies because he has a third eye. And I like him because he is a south-paw and has very good reflexes.

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The only problem, however, is that I have to feed him twice daily and he has a helluva appetite. This means the budgetary allocation covering his stomach alone is not a ‘small thing.” Anyhow, it is all for my good because when he is bellyful he automatical­ly gyrates into a third degree alert. When he sees anybody getting close to me he growls like a tiger, and I nod my head in appreciation. That’s the spirit!

Yes, as I was saying, government and opposition have made it possible for peace to prevail in our dear country such that the security of everybody’s left ear is guaranteed. Anyway if you feel that yours is not, you may go and insure it for any eventuality. There are many insurance companies in town.

In any case, it is unlikely that vio­lence would erupt in foreseeable fu­ture. The New Patriotic (NPP) is doing all its best to engage in proper rapport with the government, and I bet you that is a really encouraging sign of co-operation.

The elephant and the umbrella must not be enemies. They must dine together. Politics is not a war. It is a game and even dogs play it better than humans. The dog says, ‘When I fall for you and you fall for me, there is no palaver’.

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Fact is that no one party is going to rule forever, so why not cooperate with each other to make democracy meaningful in the country? I salute the NPP for the prudent overtures towards reconciliation, understanding and peace.

However, I must say I was disap­pointed when a leading member of the party went abroad ostensibly to paint Sikaman rather black to potential investors. I was terribly disappointed because I respect him for his intellect.

He must know that the country is not for only Jerry Jot Rawlings or for NDC. It is for everybody including himself. So to go about discouraging investors from doing business in the country just because Jerry Rawlings is in power is not sane politics. It doesn’t speak well of him, and the country deserves an apology.

This article was first published on Saturday, August 21, 1993

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Female bodies for sale

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A man and a woman walking together

It is still the contention of my uncle, Kofi Jogolo, that the moment God created woman, He created a big problem for man. If not, why would man always have to trim his moustache in such a way as to please woman and not himself? And why would a man’s holy organ keep nodding like an agama lizard just because there is a creation called woman?

Sikaman Palava
Sikaman Palava

Sir Kofi Jogolo whose moustache deserves both a national award and mention in the Guinness Book of Records for its stylish variations, told me recently that when you marry, you have palaver; if you don’t marry, you have wahala. All because of woman. I think the bloke is a reincarnation of Paul. Only he looks like Peter.

For those who do not marry, they may be free of marital problems, but might be in sexual bondage, because at dawn, a certain part of the body might nod in distress. It is a wonderful part of the human body that smiles with joy when a woman is lying within arm’s length.

The unmarried may not have to wait until dawn, though. After all, who says you can satisfy a sexual need only at dawn? If there is no girlfriend, there is still a way out. FEMALE BODIES FOR SALE! You only have to ask, “How much?” Sometimes it is worth the price of only two balls of kenkey.

It is for this reason that some people do not discourage women from practising prostitution because they claim the women play a vital role in national development. According to them, first, the nation cannot develop when the citizens are sex-starved. Second, they claim prostitution keeps down figures of rape cases since it is due to the scarcity of female bodies that the incidence of rape is rising.

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Well, some people really adore prostitutes. With them you don’t have to worry about pregnancy. Moreover, you can skip foreplay which many people don’t have the patience for because of their high sexual temperature, or because they consider it a waste of time. And when you pay well, you can enjoy the style you want.

In actual fact, some married men also go in for prostitutes once in a while. They claim that prostitutes do not complain in bed like their wives. When you ask them to raise a leg, they comply without argument.

They also say prostitutes who are experienced can really work on certain parts of your body enough to make you blaspheme. Holy Jesus! The difference is clear then that with prostitutes you pay for the service but with wives it is for free, meaning that the quality of service must differ accordingly.

Many men also say they prefer prostitutes to girlfriends because of “back-pocket palaver”. It is their contention that with girlfriends you have to specialise in telling lies about your credit worthiness especially when you’re not only a human being but also a church mouse.

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Sometimes you have to buy beer and gin because some girlfriends would not like to have sex unless they are properly soaked in booze. You also have to sing them lullabies and recite poetry to turn them on. Ask Devine Ankamah. That’s not all. When all is finished, you have to dish transport money, and if you’re not lucky she’d ask you to settle a “carry forward” you had planned to dodge.

So for just two probably lousy rounds of enjoyment, you’d spend some ¢15,000 if hotel services are included, unless you choose a hotel room where cockroaches and rats don’t practise family planning.

There are those who believe that with prostitutes, you don’t have to tell lies. It is purely business. No credit, no debit. Money na hand back na ground. When you are through and refuse to pay, she’ll cause a scene, scratch your face red and drag your butt onto the street. Next time you don’t have money, you stick to your wife or girlfriend or to your sorrows.

Prostitution in Sikaman is widespread. News reaching Palava have it that in the Obuasi area, it is the major occupation of females. They are in lucrative business. They come from all over the country -Bolga, Tamale, Kumasi, Sunyani, Accra, Odumase, wherever. A few are said to have come from Lagos in full gear.

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When they all come, they sometimes don’t do so with only their bodies and luggage. They also carry with them something small in the form of a disease called AIDS which they distribute free of charge.

So why Obuasi? Gold! The great successes of Ashanti Goldfields combined with the notoriety and boom of galamsey activities have acted as a magnet, drawing in those who peddle their bodies for cash. No cheques!

Sometime back, it was reported that AIDS cases in the Obuasi area had soared. The reason, prostitution. Obuasi prostitutes are, however, of class. They dress to kill. Some speak even more languages, so if you’re a client and you speak even in tongues, they understand. And they drink beer exactly like Germans.

So what really are we doing about these prostitutes who, some say are contributing to national development and others say are enhancing national obituary?

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Sikaman Palava has said it once that the law enforcement agencies have tried time and again to rid them off the streets. They have always failed in doing so. The problem is that they are as slippery as the cockroach. When harassed, they disappear and practise all the same. If caught, they are fined and the next day they are firmly at post.

Some people say because we can’t get rid of them, we must neither encourage nor discourage them. We must find a way of organising them into co-operatives under the name of “SPECIAL HUMAN SERVICES.”

They’d undergo medical screening and those with AIDS banned from practising. The rest would undergo a course in the cause, prevention and cure of sexually-transmitted diseases, personal hygiene, condom use and the healthful ways of practising prostitution.

Then they can be let loose to practise under laid-down rules and regulations and their income taxed.

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That way, the prostitutes would be more beneficial to society and would not be the problem we see them to be.

 This article was first published on Saturday June 29, 1996

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The right mindset is everything

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This year June and part of July, is an enjoyable season for football lovers due to the World Cup which is held every four years.  The World Cup is such a huge event and also very prestigious so it is highly competitive. 

Countries registered with the Federation of International Football Association, (FIFA) become automatic members.  FIFA organises tournaments on the five continents of the world, to enable countries to be selected to play in the World Cup competition. 

Governments support their national teams to ensure qualification to the World Cup due to the prestigious nature of the tournament.  Certain countries even go to the extent of renting a place of their choice, instead of the accommodation provided by FIFA, to ensure that they win the ultimate crown, as Germany did in the 2014 tournament in Brazil. 

Mental strength a requisite for emerging victorious in football matches at such high professional level and everything must be done to endure that players are focused on the matches ahead of them.

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There is however, a peculiar situation in this year’s World Cup, where it is being hosted by three countries namely the United States of America, Mexico and Canada and where one of the host countries, is at war with one of the competing countries. 

The United States of America, is waging a war against Iran.  The US has prevented Iran from staying in the US where they were originally scheduled by FIFA to play their matches.  The US using its power as the host country, has refused to let Iran to stay and FIFA has provided a place in Mexico for the Iranian team to stay.  They have to spend about five hours to fly to the US and prepare to get ready for their matches, each match day. 

They are also forced to leave the US as soon as they finish playing their matches, without resting.  Despite this inhumane treatment being forced on them by the USA, the Iranian team is mentally strong and have managed to draw their two matches played.  

This is a clear manifestation of mental toughness, resulting from having the right mindset.

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Life has a way of often dealing bad cards to a lot of people but it is important that when it happens like that, you look at what you can do with what you have, to still achieve the goals you have set for yourself.

 There is a saying that when life throws you a lemon you make lemonade out of it.  The barriers confronting you might be great, but it is the attitude you display that makes the difference. 

The Iranians have really shown that the right mindset is indeed everything you need to be successful.  They looked at their situation and assessed what was not going in their favour and found appropriate steps to address it. 

Given the teams Iran was to play, the challenge was indeed huge, given the circumstances they found themselves in, but the right mindset to never give up, did the trick for them.

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As human beings, we are always confronted with challenges, right from the day we start to crawl, the day we take our first steps and as we continue to grow into adulthood.  Challenges are part of our daily lives and we must therefore condition our minds, that we shall encounter them and so must constantly be innovative in overcoming them, when we encounter them. 

We need as a country, to develop a critical thinking skill capabilities in our youth, as an investment in the future fortunes of this country.  Developing the right mindset, will enable us overcome every challenge.  God bless.

By Laud Kissi-Mensah

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