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The Prophet part 1

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Remove your shoes! The fetish priest barked as the two men en­tered the shrine. They complied.

You are welcome to the presence of Nana Kofi Broni, the mighty one who scatters his enemies and turns them into dust, the powerful one who walks with six legs and reaches his destination way ahead of everyone. What can I do for you, my children?

Er, Okomfo, this is my friend Papa An­tobam. He has a problem, and I assured him that you can….. ‘But the fetish priest cut him short.

If it is he who has the problem, then let him speak for himself.

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Antobam cleared his throat. Er, Okomfo, I will not make a long speech. I want to start a church, and I want to be able to do wonders, so that more people will join my church. Of course, the bottom line is money! I want the kind of spiritual power that will make people pay money for my services, without complaining. That is why I have come. Yaw Ansah tells me you can help me.

The fetish priest stared at Antobam for what seemed like ages. Finally, he spoke.

‘You want asore aduro?’

‘Precisely’, Okomfo, Antobam re­plied.

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`Okay. Nana will do it for you. It is not hard for him at all. But there are a few requirements that you have to meet. I need to perform some rites which will enable Nana to bring the wealth you are asking for, from the spiritual world so that you can lay your hands on it, whenever you need it`.

`That is what I am looking for, Okomfo`.

‘Well then. You are clearly focused on what you want, and how you want to achieve it. Nana Broni is ever willing to help you. There are two sets of rituals to be performed. One of them can be done today, and the other can be done whenever you are able to put together the necessary items.

‘Nana’, Antobam said, ‘I came pre­pared, so if you don’t mind, please con­vert the items into cash. I think I can find enough money to pay. I would very much like to perform all the necessary rites here, today’.

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‘Okay, an amount of two thousand ce­dis will settle it all. If you pay that, we will go ahead and perform the rituals shortly’.

Antobam rose, drew out an envelope from his trouser pocket and counted out some notes.

‘Here you are, Nana. Two thousand. I’m ready’.

‘Okay’, the fetish priest said as he picked up the money. He placed it gently in a big calabash, whispering some unintelligible words as he did so. Then he went outside, prepared a fire and put a huge pot on it. Within some fifteen minutes the water was boiling. He poured several concoctions in it, reciting some incantations as he did so.

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‘Now’, he declared, ‘we are ready! Come forward. Papa went close to the big pot.

‘Step on that stone and get into the pot’. Papa Antobam hesitated, wonder­ing whether it was wise to step into a pot of boiling water with his eyes wide open.

‘I say, get inside the pot!’ the man shouted. ‘Gingerly, Antobam stepped inside, but realised to his great surprise that instead of being very hot, the wa­ter felt cool. The fetish priest grabbed his head with his two hands and pushed him down for about a minute. Although he had closed his eyes and was inside for only a minute, he ‘saw’ quite a number of big, strange creatures in the water. They all came to him, pushing large crates containing money. The fetish priest pulled his head out just when he started gasping for air.

‘Did you see money? Lots of money’? The fetish priest asked.

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‘Yes! I saw some big animals, and they brought big crates of money to me.’

‘Congratulations!’ Now go and start your church, and do your stuff. But remember, you must once a year to give thanks to the great Nana Kofi Broni for giving you the power to make money. But wait, you need to take this’. He brought out a gallon container, poured some of the contents of the huge pot into it, and gave it to him.

‘A few hours before your first service, pour this at the venue. From then, Nana Kofi Broni’s messengers will follow you wherever you go. You will see wonders.’

‘Thank you’, Antobam replied. ‘I will certainly be back.’ They shook hands, and the two friends left the shrine.

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‘I told you I knew the man who could help you,’ Yaw Ansah said as they walked to the lorry station to join a vehicle for the twenty minute journey back to Koforidua.

‘I believe you now, Yaw, and I am re­ally grateful. I assure you that I will not forget you when money starts rolling in’.

‘I will hold you to that promise. But I’m sure you will ‘do something’ for now, won’t you?’

‘Well’, Antobam said, let’s see what I can do now. He brought out the white envelope and took out a fifty cedi note. ‘You can have this for now, Yaw. As you know already, life has been very tough. In order to prepare for this trip I sold my TV and I gave out my rented room in Koforidua. I made three thousand cedis, from which I have already given out two thousand at the shrine. I have already spent two hundred cedis on our transport and food. Here is GH¢50 for you. I have to be careful with money until I start getting some money from the church business. I am going to col­lect my things from Koforidua and move into the family house at Kukurantumi until things start looking up. I will give out GH¢100 to my mother, and try to survive on what is left’.

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‘I’m sure you will start making money the moment you start making yourself known. You must start immediately’.

‘I will do exactly that. I will find a place to start at Tafo this week, then I will open branches all over the Eastern Region, and move to Accra and Kumasi. In a few months I will be on all the big radio and TV stations’.

‘That’s the spirit, my brother. Others have made it, so why can’t you?’

‘You have a good point’. Very soon I will be among the big preachers in Ghana’.

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A few days later, Antobam rented a loud hailer for GH¢10 and went round the lorry station and the town cen­tre. ‘Do you need a quick, long-term solution to your marriage, financial and health problems? Do you want to travel abroad and get a good paying job? The day of your solution is here! Come to the open space behind the Zion school park, and see wonders. Solutions! Solu­tions! Solutions! 6’oclock sharp, every morning. We are waiting for you! Mira­cles! Miracles! Come and take yours!

The following morning, Antobam got to the venue just after four. He had selected that venue because apart from being out of town, there were no churches to compete with him. He erected a small platform to serve as pulpit, and sprinkled the water from the shrine all over the place, as the fetish priest had directed. Soon after that, he heard shrill sounds like voices. He looked around him and saw nothing, but the voices were certainly there. He felt some initial fear, but remem­bered that having paid for the services of Nana Kofi Broni’s angels, any spirits that had come there would work on his behalf. The voices, he told himself, confirmed that he was on his way to becoming a very rich, powerful man.

By six o’clock quite a number of people, mostly women, had gathered there.

‘My brothers and sisters’ you are all welcome. I assure you that today, you will see the end of your problems. I do not talk too much. I do as I say. Let’s allow some fifteen minutes for other brothers and sisters to arrive, then the service will begin. For now, let us start singing some praises to God. Can anyone lead us in some praises? A young woman did, and the service got un­derway. The numbers increased as the singing went on.

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Antobam raised his hand for the singing to stop, and addressed the gathering.

‘My brothers and sisters, my name is Prophet Papa Antobam. I have come as your servant to bring you solutions to your problems. I have been praying for a long time, asking God when He would release me to go and serve my people. Finally, your prayers have been answered. I have brought quick, lasting solutions to any problem you will face. The Almighty God has heard your cry, and today, I assure you that you will see real solutions. One thing I ask of you, is that when you see the solutions, do not forget to come and give thanks for what God has done for you.

If it is he who has the problem, then let him speak for himself

By Ekow de Heer

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Female bodies for sale

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A man and a woman walking together

It is still the contention of my uncle, Kofi Jogolo, that the moment God created woman, He created a big problem for man. If not, why would man always have to trim his moustache in such a way as to please woman and not himself? And why would a man’s holy organ keep nodding like an agama lizard just because there is a creation called woman?

Sikaman Palava
Sikaman Palava

Sir Kofi Jogolo whose moustache deserves both a national award and mention in the Guinness Book of Records for its stylish variations, told me recently that when you marry, you have palaver; if you don’t marry, you have wahala. All because of woman. I think the bloke is a reincarnation of Paul. Only he looks like Peter.

For those who do not marry, they may be free of marital problems, but might be in sexual bondage, because at dawn, a certain part of the body might nod in distress. It is a wonderful part of the human body that smiles with joy when a woman is lying within arm’s length.

The unmarried may not have to wait until dawn, though. After all, who says you can satisfy a sexual need only at dawn? If there is no girlfriend, there is still a way out. FEMALE BODIES FOR SALE! You only have to ask, “How much?” Sometimes it is worth the price of only two balls of kenkey.

It is for this reason that some people do not discourage women from practising prostitution because they claim the women play a vital role in national development. According to them, first, the nation cannot develop when the citizens are sex-starved. Second, they claim prostitution keeps down figures of rape cases since it is due to the scarcity of female bodies that the incidence of rape is rising.

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Well, some people really adore prostitutes. With them you don’t have to worry about pregnancy. Moreover, you can skip foreplay which many people don’t have the patience for because of their high sexual temperature, or because they consider it a waste of time. And when you pay well, you can enjoy the style you want.

In actual fact, some married men also go in for prostitutes once in a while. They claim that prostitutes do not complain in bed like their wives. When you ask them to raise a leg, they comply without argument.

They also say prostitutes who are experienced can really work on certain parts of your body enough to make you blaspheme. Holy Jesus! The difference is clear then that with prostitutes you pay for the service but with wives it is for free, meaning that the quality of service must differ accordingly.

Many men also say they prefer prostitutes to girlfriends because of “back-pocket palaver”. It is their contention that with girlfriends you have to specialise in telling lies about your credit worthiness especially when you’re not only a human being but also a church mouse.

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Sometimes you have to buy beer and gin because some girlfriends would not like to have sex unless they are properly soaked in booze. You also have to sing them lullabies and recite poetry to turn them on. Ask Devine Ankamah. That’s not all. When all is finished, you have to dish transport money, and if you’re not lucky she’d ask you to settle a “carry forward” you had planned to dodge.

So for just two probably lousy rounds of enjoyment, you’d spend some ¢15,000 if hotel services are included, unless you choose a hotel room where cockroaches and rats don’t practise family planning.

There are those who believe that with prostitutes, you don’t have to tell lies. It is purely business. No credit, no debit. Money na hand back na ground. When you are through and refuse to pay, she’ll cause a scene, scratch your face red and drag your butt onto the street. Next time you don’t have money, you stick to your wife or girlfriend or to your sorrows.

Prostitution in Sikaman is widespread. News reaching Palava have it that in the Obuasi area, it is the major occupation of females. They are in lucrative business. They come from all over the country -Bolga, Tamale, Kumasi, Sunyani, Accra, Odumase, wherever. A few are said to have come from Lagos in full gear.

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When they all come, they sometimes don’t do so with only their bodies and luggage. They also carry with them something small in the form of a disease called AIDS which they distribute free of charge.

So why Obuasi? Gold! The great successes of Ashanti Goldfields combined with the notoriety and boom of galamsey activities have acted as a magnet, drawing in those who peddle their bodies for cash. No cheques!

Sometime back, it was reported that AIDS cases in the Obuasi area had soared. The reason, prostitution. Obuasi prostitutes are, however, of class. They dress to kill. Some speak even more languages, so if you’re a client and you speak even in tongues, they understand. And they drink beer exactly like Germans.

So what really are we doing about these prostitutes who, some say are contributing to national development and others say are enhancing national obituary?

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Sikaman Palava has said it once that the law enforcement agencies have tried time and again to rid them off the streets. They have always failed in doing so. The problem is that they are as slippery as the cockroach. When harassed, they disappear and practise all the same. If caught, they are fined and the next day they are firmly at post.

Some people say because we can’t get rid of them, we must neither encourage nor discourage them. We must find a way of organising them into co-operatives under the name of “SPECIAL HUMAN SERVICES.”

They’d undergo medical screening and those with AIDS banned from practising. The rest would undergo a course in the cause, prevention and cure of sexually-transmitted diseases, personal hygiene, condom use and the healthful ways of practising prostitution.

Then they can be let loose to practise under laid-down rules and regulations and their income taxed.

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That way, the prostitutes would be more beneficial to society and would not be the problem we see them to be.

 This article was first published on Saturday June 29, 1996

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The right mindset is everything

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This year June and part of July, is an enjoyable season for football lovers due to the World Cup which is held every four years.  The World Cup is such a huge event and also very prestigious so it is highly competitive. 

Countries registered with the Federation of International Football Association, (FIFA) become automatic members.  FIFA organises tournaments on the five continents of the world, to enable countries to be selected to play in the World Cup competition. 

Governments support their national teams to ensure qualification to the World Cup due to the prestigious nature of the tournament.  Certain countries even go to the extent of renting a place of their choice, instead of the accommodation provided by FIFA, to ensure that they win the ultimate crown, as Germany did in the 2014 tournament in Brazil. 

Mental strength a requisite for emerging victorious in football matches at such high professional level and everything must be done to endure that players are focused on the matches ahead of them.

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There is however, a peculiar situation in this year’s World Cup, where it is being hosted by three countries namely the United States of America, Mexico and Canada and where one of the host countries, is at war with one of the competing countries. 

The United States of America, is waging a war against Iran.  The US has prevented Iran from staying in the US where they were originally scheduled by FIFA to play their matches.  The US using its power as the host country, has refused to let Iran to stay and FIFA has provided a place in Mexico for the Iranian team to stay.  They have to spend about five hours to fly to the US and prepare to get ready for their matches, each match day. 

They are also forced to leave the US as soon as they finish playing their matches, without resting.  Despite this inhumane treatment being forced on them by the USA, the Iranian team is mentally strong and have managed to draw their two matches played.  

This is a clear manifestation of mental toughness, resulting from having the right mindset.

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Life has a way of often dealing bad cards to a lot of people but it is important that when it happens like that, you look at what you can do with what you have, to still achieve the goals you have set for yourself.

 There is a saying that when life throws you a lemon you make lemonade out of it.  The barriers confronting you might be great, but it is the attitude you display that makes the difference. 

The Iranians have really shown that the right mindset is indeed everything you need to be successful.  They looked at their situation and assessed what was not going in their favour and found appropriate steps to address it. 

Given the teams Iran was to play, the challenge was indeed huge, given the circumstances they found themselves in, but the right mindset to never give up, did the trick for them.

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As human beings, we are always confronted with challenges, right from the day we start to crawl, the day we take our first steps and as we continue to grow into adulthood.  Challenges are part of our daily lives and we must therefore condition our minds, that we shall encounter them and so must constantly be innovative in overcoming them, when we encounter them. 

We need as a country, to develop a critical thinking skill capabilities in our youth, as an investment in the future fortunes of this country.  Developing the right mindset, will enable us overcome every challenge.  God bless.

By Laud Kissi-Mensah

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