Obaa Yaa
My Sister doesn’t trust me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My sister and I have been living together peacefully for a number of years and we do everything together.
She was my best friend and confidant, but suddenly, everything changed when she saw me conversing and smiling with her boyfriend.
She suspects that I have been going out with him for which reason she is now demanding that l leave her house.
I have explained to her several times about my innocence, yet she would not listen. This means she does not trust me.
I am confused and don’t know what to do, since I have nowhere to go. Please I need your help.
Agnes, Accra.
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Dear Agnes,
This is a matter between you and your God, and your conscience will bear you out.
There have been instances when people developed good and genuine relations with the boyfriends or girlfriends of their relatives. In such instances, sincerity played a significant role in the relationship.
Unfortunately, there were other instances that people who defied morality, exploited the trust reposed in them and misbehaved.
Some people who are over-jealous so far as issues pertaining to relationship is concerned, have acted without judging matters rightly.
The attitude of your sister suggests she is extremely jealous and does not trust you and her boyfriend. On the contrary, could it be that her action is due to your past behaviour?
The best she could have done was to find out from her boyfriend and interview you to ascertain the truth.
Since you maintain your innocence in this case, inform your parents to enable them to intervene as early as possible.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.
However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.
Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.
According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.
Thomas, Wa.
Dear Thomas,
First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.
If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.
Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.
At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.
A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.
If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.
I wish you all the best.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
