Obaa Yaa
I am in a state of dilemma
Dear Obaa Yaa
I am a graduate of the university of Cape Coast and about to start my national service this year.
Unfortunately, my problem is my inability to secure accommodation, considering where I stay and where I have been posted to.
I met a colleague male student who was a good friend of mine in the university. I told him about my problem and he has offered to share his apartment with me.
Though my friend’s apartment is really beautiful, and l need one for my National Service engagement, my fear is that I have never lived in the same apartment with any man, hence my hesitation in accepting this offer.
What should I do please?
Araba, Pokuase.
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Dear Araba,
Your case is a very dicey one which must be handled with maximum care, coupled with deep thinking.
It is normal for you to hesitate a little before accepting an offer like this.
Though this student was a good friend on campus, you are yet to know his true character if you get closer to him.
Staying in the same apartment with him is not advisable because you cannot tell what will happen when the doors are shut and the two of you are left in the same room.
He could genuinely permit you to join him in the flat and later change his mind, for which reason you must be careful.
It is only one out of 10 men who can genuinely grant you such an offer without asking for a favour in return.
If you have no option, then you should stay there at least a week or two and look for your own apartment within the shortest possible time.
The longer you stay in the same apartment, the more likely you may fall a prey to his diabolical plans.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I took off my wedding rings but could not find it again. I was washing when I took them off and placed them on a wall close to me. Honestly, after washing I forgot to pick them up until the evening, when my husband asked where my ring were, I quickly dashed out of the room to check where I had placed them, but they were not there. My husband made it clear that I was cheating that was why I could take my rings off and lose them.
I was packing to leave the house when the bags fell and I heard a tinkling sound of metals instead of plastic. I looked around the floor, and my rings were lying there.
Who took the rings and kept them there and why would the person do that to me just to shake the foundation of my marriage?
Oye, Tabora.
Dear Oye,
Your husband’s reaction was abusive, not just angry. Accusing you of cheating was just mean.
Rings don’t prove fidelity, trust does. Your response was fair: taking rings off to wash is normal, and cheating has nothing to do with it.
The fact that the rings ‘mysteriously’ ended up in your bags suggests someone moved them deliberately to cause conflict. A partner who jumps to punishment instead of problem-solving will do it again when the next misunderstanding happens.
If indeed your husband threatened and pushed you out, kindly talk to someone you trust in the family or a counsellor before moving back in. If you choose to stay, your husband needs to apologise and let peace to reign.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My life started falling apart the very day I got married. I started experiencing a series of unfortunate events, which nearly broke me.
In the first year into our marriage, I lost a very lucrative job when my wife was pregnant.
I was scheduled for an interview at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital.
Immediately I got down from a taxi, out of nowhere, a motorbike at full speed knocked me down. I broke my leg and was admitted to the hospital for three months.
I lost the opportunity for the breakthrough. Since then, things have become difficult for my family. Is my problem spiritual or what?
Mawuli, Keta.
Dear Mawuli,
Stop linking your hardships to your wedding. Job loss, accidents, and unemployment are painful situations but that doesn’t mean your marriage is cursed.
In life, there are misfortunes and I urge you to continue to pray hard and wait upon the lord.
Focus on what you can control right now: your health, your finances, and your mental health.
Focus on your leg, take any work to build momentum, and consider therapy to break the “everything is a spiritual attack” cycle. Talk honestly with your wife; you two are a team, not the problem.
