Obaa Yaa
I am in a state of dilemma
Dear Obaa Yaa
I am a graduate of the university of Cape Coast and about to start my national service this year.
Unfortunately, my problem is my inability to secure accommodation, considering where I stay and where I have been posted to.
I met a colleague male student who was a good friend of mine in the university. I told him about my problem and he has offered to share his apartment with me.
Though my friend’s apartment is really beautiful, and l need one for my National Service engagement, my fear is that I have never lived in the same apartment with any man, hence my hesitation in accepting this offer.
What should I do please?
Araba, Pokuase.
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Dear Araba,
Your case is a very dicey one which must be handled with maximum care, coupled with deep thinking.
It is normal for you to hesitate a little before accepting an offer like this.
Though this student was a good friend on campus, you are yet to know his true character if you get closer to him.
Staying in the same apartment with him is not advisable because you cannot tell what will happen when the doors are shut and the two of you are left in the same room.
He could genuinely permit you to join him in the flat and later change his mind, for which reason you must be careful.
It is only one out of 10 men who can genuinely grant you such an offer without asking for a favour in return.
If you have no option, then you should stay there at least a week or two and look for your own apartment within the shortest possible time.
The longer you stay in the same apartment, the more likely you may fall a prey to his diabolical plans.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.
However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.
Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.
According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.
Thomas, Wa.
Dear Thomas,
First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.
If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.
Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.
At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.
A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.
If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.
I wish you all the best.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
