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Obaa Yaa

I am in a state of dilemma

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a graduate of the universi­ty of Cape Coast and about to start my national service this year.

Unfortunately, my problem is my inability to secure accom­modation, considering where I stay and where I have been posted to.

I met a colleague male student who was a good friend of mine in the university. I told him about my problem and he has offered to share his apart­ment with me.

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Though my friend’s apart­ment is really beautiful, and l need one for my National Service engagement, my fear is that I have never lived in the same apartment with any man, hence my hesitation in accept­ing this offer.

What should I do please?

Araba, Pokuase.

****

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Dear Araba,

Your case is a very dicey one which must be handled with maximum care, cou­pled with deep thinking.

It is normal for you to hes­itate a little before accepting an offer like this.

Though this student was a good friend on campus, you are yet to know his true character if you get closer to him.

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Staying in the same apart­ment with him is not advisable because you cannot tell what will happen when the doors are shut and the two of you are left in the same room.

He could genuinely permit you to join him in the flat and later change his mind, for which reason you must be careful.

It is only one out of 10 men who can genuinely grant you such an offer without asking for a favour in return.

If you have no option, then you should stay there at least a week or two and look for your own apartment within the shortest possible time.

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The longer you stay in the same apartment, the more likely you may fall a prey to his diabolical plans.

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Obaa Yaa

What happened

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A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.

The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”

The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”

The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”

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Man, “$1000”

The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”

The man silently took the money and left.

CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”

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The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.

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Obaa Yaa

My father claims he was cursed

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I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.

I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.

I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.

Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.

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Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.

I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.

Jojo, USA.

Dear Jojo,

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This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.

If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.

 Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.

Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.

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At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.

If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.

Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.

The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.

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