Obaa Yaa
I am in a state of dilemma
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a graduate of the university of Cape Coast and about to start my national service this year.
Unfortunately, my problem is my inability to secure accommodation, considering where I stay and where I have been posted to.
I met a colleague male student who was a good friend of mine in the university. I told him about my problem and he has offered to share his apartment with me.
Though my friend’s apartment is really beautiful, and l need one for my National Service engagement, my fear is that I have never lived in the same apartment with any man, hence my hesitation in accepting this offer.
What should I do please?
Araba, Pokuase.
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Dear Araba,
Your case is a very dicey one which must be handled with maximum care, coupled with deep thinking.
It is normal for you to hesitate a little before accepting an offer like this.
Though this student was a good friend on campus, you are yet to know his true character if you get closer to him.
Staying in the same apartment with him is not advisable because you cannot tell what will happen when the doors are shut and the two of you are left in the same room.
He could genuinely permit you to join him in the flat and later change his mind, for which reason you must be careful.
It is only one out of 10 men who can genuinely grant you such an offer without asking for a favour in return.
If you have no option, then you should stay there at least a week or two and look for your own apartment within the shortest possible time.
The longer you stay in the same apartment, the more likely you may fall a prey to his diabolical plans.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
