Obaa Yaa
My Sister doesn’t trust me
`Dear Obaa Yaa,
My sister and I have been living together peacefully for a number of years and we do everything together.
She was my best friend and confidant, but suddenly, everything changed when she saw me conversing and smiling with her boyfriend.
She suspects that I have been going out with him for which reason she is now demanding that l leave her house.
I have explained to her several times about my innocence, yet she would not listen. This means she does not trust me.
I am confused and don’t know what to do, since I have nowhere to go. Please I need your help.
Agnes, Accra.
****
Dear Agnes,
This is a matter between you and your God, and your conscience will bear you out.
There have been instances when people developed good and genuine relations with the boyfriends or girlfriends of their relatives. In such instances, sincerity played a significant role in the relationship.
Unfortunately, there were other instances that people who defied morality, exploited the trust reposed in them and misbehaved.
Some people who are over-jealous so far as issues pertaining to relationship is concerned, have acted without judging matters rightly.
The attitude of your sister suggests she is extremely jealous and does not trust you and her boyfriend. On the contrary, could it be that her action is due to your past behaviour?
The best she could have done was to find out from her boyfriend and interview you to ascertain the truth.
Since you maintain your innocence in this case, inform your parents to enable them to intervene as early as possible.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I took off my wedding rings but could not find it again. I was washing when I took them off and placed them on a wall close to me. Honestly, after washing I forgot to pick them up until the evening, when my husband asked where my ring were, I quickly dashed out of the room to check where I had placed them, but they were not there. My husband made it clear that I was cheating that was why I could take my rings off and lose them.
I was packing to leave the house when the bags fell and I heard a tinkling sound of metals instead of plastic. I looked around the floor, and my rings were lying there.
Who took the rings and kept them there and why would the person do that to me just to shake the foundation of my marriage?
Oye, Tabora.
Dear Oye,
Your husband’s reaction was abusive, not just angry. Accusing you of cheating was just mean.
Rings don’t prove fidelity, trust does. Your response was fair: taking rings off to wash is normal, and cheating has nothing to do with it.
The fact that the rings ‘mysteriously’ ended up in your bags suggests someone moved them deliberately to cause conflict. A partner who jumps to punishment instead of problem-solving will do it again when the next misunderstanding happens.
If indeed your husband threatened and pushed you out, kindly talk to someone you trust in the family or a counsellor before moving back in. If you choose to stay, your husband needs to apologise and let peace to reign.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My life started falling apart the very day I got married. I started experiencing a series of unfortunate events, which nearly broke me.
In the first year into our marriage, I lost a very lucrative job when my wife was pregnant.
I was scheduled for an interview at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital.
Immediately I got down from a taxi, out of nowhere, a motorbike at full speed knocked me down. I broke my leg and was admitted to the hospital for three months.
I lost the opportunity for the breakthrough. Since then, things have become difficult for my family. Is my problem spiritual or what?
Mawuli, Keta.
Dear Mawuli,
Stop linking your hardships to your wedding. Job loss, accidents, and unemployment are painful situations but that doesn’t mean your marriage is cursed.
In life, there are misfortunes and I urge you to continue to pray hard and wait upon the lord.
Focus on what you can control right now: your health, your finances, and your mental health.
Focus on your leg, take any work to build momentum, and consider therapy to break the “everything is a spiritual attack” cycle. Talk honestly with your wife; you two are a team, not the problem.
