Obaa Yaa
My husband is lovely and caring
I had married for five years with two children and this gave me the false impression that things would sail smoothly into the future with my family.
Unfortunately, things turned upside down after l was delivered of my second child. As a nursing mother, l tried to calm the raging tension with the hope that things were going to change by playing a role for peace to prevail in the house.
But l had the shock of my life when my husband asked me to pack my belongings and leave the house with the two children who he claimed were not his.
Despite the intervention of my parents, my husband did not change his decision and l became traumatised.
With my meagre salary, l had to cater for my children, their education as well as my aged parents.
One day, the items l bought from the market poured on the ground and a gentleman who was standing by quickly assisted me to pick them. He bought a stronger polythene bag for me to carry my things.
Since then we became good friends and there was not a single day that he would not ask of me. He later requested to visit my parents after which he proposed to marry me.
One day, he decided to visit my parents after which he proposed to marry me. Though l have two children for which l thought my marriage to him would not be possible, he assured me that l should not worry because my children were his as well.
Since our marriage, he loves me and my children as though he is their biological father and this has made me to love him more and l now forgotten of my problems in my previous marriage.
I am surprised at the display of love from my new husband and l will continue to love him all the days of my life.
Cynthia, Tema.
Dear Cynthia,
Your case reminds me of the verse in the Bible which encourages us to be grateful to God no matter the circumstance. Count yourself very blessed for coming across such a lovely husband who has transferred the love he has for you to your children.
Having received this measure of love from your present husband, educate your children to reciprocate their love and respect for him. This is the only means they can sustain his love for your family.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
WE have been married for three years with no child. We have been living together for about five years now.
For eight months, we had a lot of quarrels caused by her. I complained to her parents when they came for a visit.
I later left them in the house for an evening church service around 7pm. Upon my return after about 9:30pm, she was not in the house and neither were her parents. I opened the door and found out that she had left with all her belongings.
I did not go to look for her. She also did not come back that day. She came back on the fourth day to plead for forgiveness.
But the truth is that I have lost interest in her and the relationship, so her return after four days to seek forgiveness meant nothing to me. I don’t love her again. What should I do?
Yawson, Swedru.
Dear Yawson,
I DON’T understand why your wife decided to stay out for almost four days. My second headache is why her parents allowed her to pack out of her matrimonial home without your consent.
I understand your anger, but I think you must listen to her first; know where she went for four days and what informed the decision before arriving at a final verdict on her.
If you investigate and find out that she didn’t go anywhere to ‘misbehave,’ but just went away out of anger only to realise she was wrong, then she is worth forgiving. To err is human, to forgive is divine.
In your letter you said you do not love her again. Are you sure about that? Perhaps you are fuming with anger now, but when your anger abates, you’ll be in a better position to assess the situation.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been having a serious argument with a friend of mine on men and women, and I would like you to help us solve it.
For some time now, I have been hearing that the women in this country are more than the men, and my friend also supported it by saying that every man in this country is entitled to seven solid women.
In fact, Obaa Yaa, I am confused because at the various workplaces and in other organisations, you can see that the men outnumber the women, and the only place where the women outnumber the men is the markets.
Can you help us with statistics suggesting that men are more than women and also help me to establish the veracity of the claim that every man is supposed to marry more than one woman?
P. K. Tamakloe, Akosombo.
Dear P.K,
According to statistics, women are more than men in this country but not to the extent that one man can marry seven women.
There are about two men to three women, although the ratio is not definite. As it were, when you take two men, only one on the average can marry two wives. The other can only get a woman and no more.
My question is why you are worried about something you can’t change.
Besides, as a Christian, you are entitled to marry only one woman.
You should not encourage such conversations because it can affect some decisions you want to take in life.
