Obaa Yaa
My husband disowns pregnancy
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been married for seven years and blessed with three children. Two years ago, my husband relocated to Kumasi on postings and he occasionally comes back to the family to spend weekends.
When l informed him that l was pregnant, he asked me of the last time l had my period. After this information, he did not show any sign of annoyance and everything went on smoothly until he left for Kumasi.
Four months into my pregnancy, my husband has become angry under the pretext that since he was in Kumasi per his calculations and not physically present with me, he could not have been responsible for the pregnancy.
He said my pregnancy has confirmed reports he had received from some sources of my association with a certain man in our locality.
He asked that l should pack my belongings from the house for good and leave the children with him.
Despite my explanation that l cannot indulge in extra-marital affairs, he does not want to believe what l tell him.
Can l inform my parents about the current development and the next step to take in order to salvage my reputation?
Ama, Tema.
Dear Ama,
It is unfortunate things have changed in your marriage and a serious allegation is being levelled against you at the time you are pregnant.
From the tone of your letter, your husband has kept the information he had received about you without verifying the truth from you, the wife.
This is a case of mistrust which has emerged and could have been resolved easily by employing the tools of patience, tolerance and being frank in your deliberations.
You have every right to inform your parents who can take this matter up with your husband at their level.
The surest option is to go for a DNA test at the hospital to ascertain the paternity of the child after you have been delivered of the child.
Obaa Yaa
Her attitude has changed
Dear Obaa Yaa,
There is something happening that could ruin the relationship with my girlfriend if it is not checked.
My girlfriend has a beautiful chocolate complexion which I am proud of.
In recent times, she has started bleaching in a manner I find annoying.
When I asked her why she is bleaching, she was unable to give me any tangible reason except to say that she wants the skin to be smooth.
I have, however, learnt from a friend of her’s that she admires another friend who has bleached her skin.
Because of that, I have warned her about the dangers and ramifications involved in bleaching but she has turned a blind eye.
One annoying thing is that after spending all her money on bleaching soaps and creams, she persistently worries me for money as if I am indebted to her.
I am beginning to think that she is bleaching to attract other men just as the friend is doing.
I am thinking of breaking up with her because she is not ready to listen to me.
Asare, Accra.
Dear Asare,
You don’t need to break up with her because she is bleaching. Try and coax this girl to give up this bad habit and if possible get her a pastor and parents to talk to her.
If this should fail, give her an ultimatum to give up this habit or risk losing the relationship.
Bleaching has side effects and can cause skin cancer.
You can also advise her to do the skin therapy with a good body cream.
Obaa Yaa
I’m ashamed of my stature
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 18 years and I have developed a stature I am ashamed of.Obaa, at first I was slim, smart and beautiful.
Within a few months, I have grown fat. When I walk around with my friends, they just make fun of me.
I realised the weight gain is affecting my health. I am finding it difficult to walk for long. That is making me sick all the time.
I am worried, please help me to get back to my normal stature.
Dora,
Konongo
Dear Dora,
You must first determine if your sudden excessive weight is as a result of eating too much or because of some drugs you are taking.
If it is because of some drugs, then see a doctor for an advice.
However, if it is because of excessive eating, then try to cut down the quantity of food you eat and then begin to exercise. Try and enroll in a keep –fit club or gymnasium.
Some people also put on weight when they are stressed, so try and have enough rest.
If you know a dietician, seek counselling so you don’t end up suffering for anorexia
