Obaa Yaa
Marriage is scary
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am always attracted by the nice looks of couples who go out for a walk and engage in programmes to entertain themselves.
Love, tolerance and perseverance are the essential ingredients which make marriage stick together in a memorable bond.
Unfortunately, there are instances of couples taking these qualities for granted and do whatever they like.
I was lucky to be close to my elder sister with whom l shared my aspirations, sentiments and sometimes secrets and sought her advice.
She was in a relationship with a man who was her senior in the university and who occupied her mind at that time.
This gentleman was known and loved by every member of the family and some of us were of the view that their marriage would be a memorable one from which others will derive immense inspiration.
I was not surprised when this man approached my parents that he would like to ask of my sister’s hand in marriage and pleaded for a list of items required to perform the customary rites.
However, my sister’s expectations fell short of her lover when she informed him that she was pregnant. He suggested that my sister should abort the pregnancy to enable them to prepare a comfortable foundation for a happy marriage.
My sister reluctantly succumbed to abort the pregnancy only to realise a few weeks later that her lover was ready to wed another lady.
The situation has made my sister to develop hatred for men and she has vowed never to entertain any man for a relationship.
Can men be trusted in a circumstance like this?
Akosua, Accra.
Dear Akosua,
The abuse of trust as in your sister’s case is unfortunate and should not be encouraged. Your sister is fortunate to be in a sound mind despite the misfortune that has befallen her.
This gentleman’s character suggests that he was dating two ladies at the same time but took undue advantage of your sister. He should have compensated your sister for the inconvenience caused her.
Your sister should have asked for compensation from him to commensurate the inconvenience he had caused her.
This gentleman has not acted in good faith and should not be trusted. It, therefore, suggest that your sister will not forgive him if she is unable to conceive because of the abortion.
I would like to assure you that the lives of other couples should serve as a source of encouragement for your sister and she will get a good partner in life.
The Woman Seduced Me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 20-year-old student who lost both parents at the age of 16.
I stayed with my late mother’s friend, a woman about 40 years old who lives in the same area.
After the death of my parents, she told me to come and stay with her. She promised to take good care of me because of the good relationship she had with my mother.
I moved from my former house to the woman’s place. In fact, she was kind to me and gave me all that I needed.
About three months later, the woman forced me to have sex with her. Since then, she has been making advances toward me and I am uncomfortable.
Obaa Yaa, how can an innocent boy like me escape from this trap?
Ramsey, Kasoa New Market.
Dear Ramsey,
YOU are indeed in trouble. If a woman who has assumed the position of a mother in your life has seduced you, then it is virtually equivalent to incest.
I suggest you begin to think about leaving the place.
Where are your relatives? Can’t any of them offer you a place, especially since both parents are late?
That should have been your first step instead of moving in with a friend.
Meanwhile, be on your guard and avoid being caught in any compromising situation with her now that you know what she is capable of.
Ask God for protection as you search for a new home. Commit your entire situation to prayer.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM 18 years old and she is also 18 years.
We have been lovers for the past two years.
I have a friend who knew about our relationship. This best friend of mine came home from school with his friend with the intention of giving him a girlfriend from his hometown.
This best friend of mine introduced my girlfriend to him and when I returned from school I was told about this sad issue.
I asked the girl and she replied negatively for several times. I was then advised by my friend to stop asking her about it.
For the second time my friend came with the same boy, but this time, I was there and in fact I really saw what happened and it was too horrifying.
Obaa Yaa, I made my mind to fight both boys but I later changed my mind.
She is very supportive and assists me with some of my needs in school.
What should I do, Obaa Yaa? She has still been visiting me but I’m worried.
O. D. Kennedy, Koforidua-E/R
Dear Kennedy,
I DOUBT if the person you claim to be your best friend is indeed a friend at all.
Why didn’t you confront him about this?
In any case, you don’t have to worry about her being snatched because it appears she loves you.
The only problem is that you are being over-anxious about the situation and feeling jealous.
For the time being, if you claim the boy trying to give out your girl is your best friend, then confront him and ask him to stop being treacherous — but don’t fight him.
