Obaa Yaa

Marriage is scary

Published

5 years ago

October 9, 2021

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am always attracted by the nice looks of couples who go out for a walk and engage in programmes to entertain themselves.

Love, tolerance and perseverance are the essential ingredients which make marriage stick together in a memorable bond.

Unfortunately, there are instances of couples taking these qualities for granted and do whatever they like.

I was lucky to be close to my elder sister with whom l shared my aspirations, sentiments and sometimes secrets and sought her advice.

She was in a relationship with a man who was her senior in the university and who occupied her mind at that time.

This gentleman was known and loved by every member of the family and some of us were of the view that their marriage would be a memorable one from which others will derive immense inspiration.

I was not surprised when this man approached my parents that he would like to ask of my sister’s hand in marriage and pleaded for a list of items required to perform the customary rites.

However, my sister’s expectations fell short of her lover when she informed him that she was pregnant. He suggested that my sister should abort the pregnancy to enable them to prepare a comfortable foundation for a happy marriage.

My sister reluctantly succumbed to abort the pregnancy only to realise a few weeks later that her lover was ready to wed another lady.

The situation has made my sister to develop hatred for men and she has vowed never to entertain any man for a relationship.

Can men be trusted in a circumstance like this?

Akosua, Accra.

Dear Akosua,

The abuse of trust as in your sister’s case is unfortunate and should not be encouraged. Your sister is fortunate to be in a sound mind despite the misfortune that has befallen her.

This gentleman’s character suggests that he was dating two ladies at the same time but took undue advantage of your sister. He should have compensated your sister for the inconvenience caused her.

Your sister should have asked for compensation from him to commensurate the inconvenience he had caused her.

This gentleman has not acted in good faith and should not be trusted. It, therefore, suggest that your sister will not forgive him if she is unable to conceive because of the abortion.

I would like to assure you that the lives of other couples should serve as a source of encouragement for your sister and she will get a good partner in life.

Obaa Yaa

I don’t want to lose my girlfriend

Published

4 days ago

May 30, 2026

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.

However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.

Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.

According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.

Thomas, Wa.

Dear Thomas,

First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.

If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.

Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.

At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.

A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.

If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.

I wish you all the best.

Obaa Yaa

My Dad won’t attend my wedding

Published

2 weeks ago

May 23, 2026

WeeklySpectator

My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.

Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.

I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?

Kwesi,

Suhum

Dear Kwesi,

Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.

You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.

If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.

Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.

Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.