Obaa Yaa

Will you encourage marriage within same family?

Published

5 years ago

October 9, 2021

I was betrothed to an influential man in my family who performed my marriage rites when l was a teenager. Though l was at the ceremony and nicely decorated with the best ornament, l did not understand the significance of what took place that day.

When l completed the university, l was not given a breathing space but asked to move into my husband’s house, although l was not mentally prepared for marriage.

I must admit that l was not enthused about getting married to this man but since my parents and the family head impressed upon me, l had no choice but to accept the offer.

Frankly, l am not happy in this marriage because our way of life and perception about issues are different. I have tried hard to tolerate his character but l think things are moving out of order.

This has generated frequent quarrels, l often lose my heart beat and this leaves me in total fear.

I am planning to leave the marriage to the displeasure of my parents.

Will l be taking the right step if l go ahead with my plan?

Abena, Koforidua.

Dear Abena,

Our elders treasured family marriages in order to protect their children from maltreatment, provide them with the love, security and help preserve their wealth.

Parents know the character of their children and the sort of spouse that will be suitable for them, hence the decision to arrange for family marriages.

Since parents conduct background checks of would-be spouses of their children, it is also believed that picking one of their own is better, and some successful marriages can attest to this special arrangement.

The uniqueness of God has brought about the differences in each person’s character and the way we do things and react to issues.

Unfortunately, some of these marriages do not work out well as one would have expected because the individuals did not get the opportunity to study each other before getting married.

Having tolerated him all these years, it will be ideal if you can cope with the differences since they are not life-threatening and live together, especially if there are children in the marriage.

But if things are not getting better, then you can inform your parents that you cannot bear it any longer.

Obaa Yaa

I don’t want to lose my girlfriend

Published

4 days ago

May 30, 2026

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.

However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.

Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.

According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.

Thomas, Wa.

Dear Thomas,

First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.

If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.

Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.

At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.

A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.

If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.

I wish you all the best.

Obaa Yaa

My Dad won’t attend my wedding

Published

2 weeks ago

May 23, 2026

WeeklySpectator

My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.

Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.

I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?

Kwesi,

Suhum

Dear Kwesi,

Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.

You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.

If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.

Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.

Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.