Obaa Yaa
My friend’s girlfriend is enticing me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been good friends from our childhood days, primary school through to the tertiary level and there has been no problem.
During one of our long vacations, my friend introduced me to his girlfriend and further explained to me that, they had planned to marry after they had secured permanent jobs.
I was happy about this union and secretly prayed that they should grow in love and be committed to each other. After some weeks, I discovered that this lady had developed a special affection for me and always praised me for the least thing I did.
Later she started making advances at me and tried on many occasions that I have an affair with her but promised that she would not tell my friend about it.
Despite her repeated insistence, I have not yielded to her demands and she has developed hatred for me and kept telling lies about me. What should I do now?
Thomas-Accra.
Dear Thomas,
You have shown by your character that you can come out victorious when subjected to a serious test.
Being loyal to your friend no matter the circumstances or conditions, means that you are a trusted, true and dedicated friend.
Since you have discovered the true character of the lady, you must keep it to yourself and be observant. You should not be the one responsible for their separation, else your friend will think you are envious of their relationship.
It will definitely get to a time when this girl’s true character will be exposed and your friend will make a decision whether to continue with her or not. This is the only way you can keep your long friendship intact.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Before we got married five years ago, my husband told me that his former wife left him shortly after he lost his job following a financial scandal which rocked the company.
But thanks be to God that the court cleared him and ordered the company to pay him for the five years he stayed at home for wrongful dismissal.
As soon as this ex-wife heard that the company had complied with the court’s orders and paid him, she shamelessly declared that she was making a comeback and has vowed to kick me out of my matrimonial home at all cost.
She promised to hire ‘machomen’ to throw my things out of the house and was prepared to bear the consequence for that action.
Even though my husband has assured me that this would never happen, her ex is bent on disturbing my peace.
What should I do?
Adzo,
Tafo.
Dear Bertha,
The lady is threatening to use violence against you. That’s constitutes a breach of the law and she must be reported to the police for issuing those threats.
However, I will advise you to discuss it with your husband so that you are not seen as acting entirely on your own.
As a matter of fact, it is only the police that can handle this matter professionally and must be involved, unless of course your husband talks to his ex-wife to stop harassing you. So have a good discussion with your husband about the matter. All the best.
