Obaa Yaa
I am disappointed in this lady
Dear obaa yaa,
I met this lady in my hometown when I visited my grandparents for the Christmas holidays.
Though I stayed in the village for a few days, my stay there was a memorable one because of the type of friends I made and the precious times we spent together.
I was attracted by how beautiful a particular lady looked and her character. I did not hesitate to conclude that this lady will be a good person to marry.
An elderly man with whom I had a discussion about my desire to marry this lady at all cost, advised me to concentrate on my studies since I was still in school.
Unfortunately, I did not listen but spent my precious time thinking about the lady at the expense of my studies.
While still thinking about marrying this lady after school, I had the greatest shock of my life when I was informed that this lady has a boyfriend who is known in the community.
Since I was briefed about the behaviour of this lady, I became very sad, confused and do not know what to do.
What step should I take?
George-Tema
Dear George,
Issues pertaining to love must be handled with care and one has to be diplomatic.
You should have made some background checks on this lady while you were in the village.
It is unfortunate that you have failed to listen to the elderly man and which should have guided your steps.
Having known that she is someone’s girlfriend,you should back out of the relationship, keep yourself safe and be focused.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I took off my wedding rings but could not find it again. I was washing when I took them off and placed them on a wall close to me. Honestly, after washing I forgot to pick them up until the evening, when my husband asked where my ring were, I quickly dashed out of the room to check where I had placed them, but they were not there. My husband made it clear that I was cheating that was why I could take my rings off and lose them.
I was packing to leave the house when the bags fell and I heard a tinkling sound of metals instead of plastic. I looked around the floor, and my rings were lying there.
Who took the rings and kept them there and why would the person do that to me just to shake the foundation of my marriage?
Oye, Tabora.
Dear Oye,
Your husband’s reaction was abusive, not just angry. Accusing you of cheating was just mean.
Rings don’t prove fidelity, trust does. Your response was fair: taking rings off to wash is normal, and cheating has nothing to do with it.
The fact that the rings ‘mysteriously’ ended up in your bags suggests someone moved them deliberately to cause conflict. A partner who jumps to punishment instead of problem-solving will do it again when the next misunderstanding happens.
If indeed your husband threatened and pushed you out, kindly talk to someone you trust in the family or a counsellor before moving back in. If you choose to stay, your husband needs to apologise and let peace to reign.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My life started falling apart the very day I got married. I started experiencing a series of unfortunate events, which nearly broke me.
In the first year into our marriage, I lost a very lucrative job when my wife was pregnant.
I was scheduled for an interview at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital.
Immediately I got down from a taxi, out of nowhere, a motorbike at full speed knocked me down. I broke my leg and was admitted to the hospital for three months.
I lost the opportunity for the breakthrough. Since then, things have become difficult for my family. Is my problem spiritual or what?
Mawuli, Keta.
Dear Mawuli,
Stop linking your hardships to your wedding. Job loss, accidents, and unemployment are painful situations but that doesn’t mean your marriage is cursed.
In life, there are misfortunes and I urge you to continue to pray hard and wait upon the lord.
Focus on what you can control right now: your health, your finances, and your mental health.
Focus on your leg, take any work to build momentum, and consider therapy to break the “everything is a spiritual attack” cycle. Talk honestly with your wife; you two are a team, not the problem.
