Obaa Yaa
I am disappointed in this lady
Dear obaa yaa,
I met this lady in my hometown when I visited my grandparents for the Christmas holidays.
Though I stayed in the village for a few days, my stay there was a memorable one because of the type of friends I made and the precious times we spent together.
I was attracted by how beautiful a particular lady looked and her character. I did not hesitate to conclude that this lady will be a good person to marry.
An elderly man with whom I had a discussion about my desire to marry this lady at all cost, advised me to concentrate on my studies since I was still in school.
Unfortunately, I did not listen but spent my precious time thinking about the lady at the expense of my studies.
While still thinking about marrying this lady after school, I had the greatest shock of my life when I was informed that this lady has a boyfriend who is known in the community.
Since I was briefed about the behaviour of this lady, I became very sad, confused and do not know what to do.
What step should I take?
George-Tema
Dear George,
Issues pertaining to love must be handled with care and one has to be diplomatic.
You should have made some background checks on this lady while you were in the village.
It is unfortunate that you have failed to listen to the elderly man and which should have guided your steps.
Having known that she is someone’s girlfriend,you should back out of the relationship, keep yourself safe and be focused.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Before we got married five years ago, my husband told me that his former wife left him shortly after he lost his job following a financial scandal which rocked the company.
But thanks be to God that the court cleared him and ordered the company to pay him for the five years he stayed at home for wrongful dismissal.
As soon as this ex-wife heard that the company had complied with the court’s orders and paid him, she shamelessly declared that she was making a comeback and has vowed to kick me out of my matrimonial home at all cost.
She promised to hire ‘machomen’ to throw my things out of the house and was prepared to bear the consequence for that action.
Even though my husband has assured me that this would never happen, her ex is bent on disturbing my peace.
What should I do?
Adzo,
Tafo.
Dear Bertha,
The lady is threatening to use violence against you. That’s constitutes a breach of the law and she must be reported to the police for issuing those threats.
However, I will advise you to discuss it with your husband so that you are not seen as acting entirely on your own.
As a matter of fact, it is only the police that can handle this matter professionally and must be involved, unless of course your husband talks to his ex-wife to stop harassing you. So have a good discussion with your husband about the matter. All the best.
