Obaa Yaa
How can I get over this?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been in a relationship over one year. Though things have been moving on well, I have the feeling that this gentleman will one day patch up with his ex-girlfriend and he will dump me.
The fear has come about because his ex-girlfriend visits him at the end of every month to collect money for the upkeep of their child.
Although he keeps assuring me that he loves me, I have my doubts and not convinced that he is sincere and will keep to his words.
I am often worried whenever he travelled out of Accra on a business trip. I do not trust him because of his attitude and his utterances of late.
How can I get over it?
Nana Adzoa- Tema.
Dear Nana Adzoa,
Love thrives on trust and tolerance,therefore, if these ingredients are absent in a marriage,the future becomes uncertain.
You sound as if your boyfriend has given you a reason not to trust him. If you keep on disturbing him, it will drive him away.
Your husband should be careful since his ex- girlfriend visits him every month to get money for the upkeep of their child. The frequent visits could pose a serious problem for your marriage.
I guess your insecurity could be derived from how a past boyfriend might have disappointed you. If that is the case then you must try and get assurance from him.
Instead of worrying unnecessarily which could disturb you, enjoy every moment with him, forget about your previous relationship.
However, if you still feel insecure, then discuss the matter with an elderly priest or person and let him help you to overcome it.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Before we got married five years ago, my husband told me that his former wife left him shortly after he lost his job following a financial scandal which rocked the company.
But thanks be to God that the court cleared him and ordered the company to pay him for the five years he stayed at home for wrongful dismissal.
As soon as this ex-wife heard that the company had complied with the court’s orders and paid him, she shamelessly declared that she was making a comeback and has vowed to kick me out of my matrimonial home at all cost.
She promised to hire ‘machomen’ to throw my things out of the house and was prepared to bear the consequence for that action.
Even though my husband has assured me that this would never happen, her ex is bent on disturbing my peace.
What should I do?
Adzo,
Tafo.
Dear Bertha,
The lady is threatening to use violence against you. That’s constitutes a breach of the law and she must be reported to the police for issuing those threats.
However, I will advise you to discuss it with your husband so that you are not seen as acting entirely on your own.
As a matter of fact, it is only the police that can handle this matter professionally and must be involved, unless of course your husband talks to his ex-wife to stop harassing you. So have a good discussion with your husband about the matter. All the best.
