Obaa Yaa
In love with mother of three
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I Am a student in a tertiary institution and in love with a woman who has three children. This woman and my parents were co-tenants and her husband used to send me on errands which I gladly carried out.
Her husband, a God-fearing man who was generous, never stopped showering gifts on me, and this made me develop a special love for him. One day, as I went to their house to deliver a parcel the man had asked me to collect for him, I met only the wife who told me her husband had travelled to attend an emergency meeting.
She accused me of neglecting her over the period not concerned about her welfare. According to her, running errands for her husband alone was not enough and that I should have occasionally asked if there was something I should do for her.
The woman led me to one of the rooms in the house where they had gathered washed clothes which were not arranged. Having shown me the room, she asked me if I could spare a little of my time to assist her in arranging the clothes.
This lady used the opportunity while we were in the room to find out if I had a girlfriend. When I said no, she asked what I was waiting for and why I should deprive pretty girls of my age from being loved and shown affection.
She, therefore, moved to where I was and began to fondle me and warned me not to voice out to anyone. She deliberately fondled me for a while and what followed could not be described.
Having introduced me to an amorous life and with the promise that all would be well, I find it difficult to stop moving with this woman.
What should I do?
Kwame- Koforidua.
Dear Kwame,
You should not depend on the leniency of this gentleman to spoil his marriage. Nobody in the right frame of mind will be happy with what you are doing. This man could easily kill you if he discovers that you are sleeping with his wife. A word to a wise is enough.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Before we got married five years ago, my husband told me that his former wife left him shortly after he lost his job following a financial scandal which rocked the company.
But thanks be to God that the court cleared him and ordered the company to pay him for the five years he stayed at home for wrongful dismissal.
As soon as this ex-wife heard that the company had complied with the court’s orders and paid him, she shamelessly declared that she was making a comeback and has vowed to kick me out of my matrimonial home at all cost.
She promised to hire ‘machomen’ to throw my things out of the house and was prepared to bear the consequence for that action.
Even though my husband has assured me that this would never happen, her ex is bent on disturbing my peace.
What should I do?
Adzo,
Tafo.
Dear Bertha,
The lady is threatening to use violence against you. That’s constitutes a breach of the law and she must be reported to the police for issuing those threats.
However, I will advise you to discuss it with your husband so that you are not seen as acting entirely on your own.
As a matter of fact, it is only the police that can handle this matter professionally and must be involved, unless of course your husband talks to his ex-wife to stop harassing you. So have a good discussion with your husband about the matter. All the best.
