Obaa Yaa
My cheating girlfriend wants me back
Dear Obaa Yaa,
A girl I dated for over three years cheated on me with my friend and I ended the relationship.
My pain was not because she cheated on me, because I also cheated on her once and she forgave and stayed with me after pleading with her.
What I couldn’t stand was the fact that she slept with somebody I knew and someone I least expected to do this to his friend’s girl.
Now this girl is back; following me everywhere and seeking for forgiveness and come back to me.
I have assured her of my forgiveness and that I have nothing against her and my friend but she is not convinced.
She has put me in a tight corner with a request to take her back because she did same for me.
The difficulty is that the sight of her brings back those memories.
Quarmyne Seth, Odumase
Dear Seth,
I must say that I applaud you for forgiving your girlfriend and your friend especially when she forgave you when you cheated too.
I would, however, advise you against accepting her again because you would be tempted to cheat on her again.
In your situation now, trust in your relationship is no more. Just forgive her and move on. It doesn’t take a day to forget someone, especially when you both have memories together. It could take a longer time so it’s up to you to know what you actually want and go for it.
See what makes you busy and happy like going out with your friends, listening to music, going for parties, trips, just to get busy. It can help you recover.
Also, be very careful bout your friend too because he has betrayed your trust.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My sister, who is a single mother, is expecting another baby with the same man who has refused to take responsibility for their first child.
According to her, he left when their first child was just a month old and travelled by bus to his hometown (Libya).
Three years later, he returned after a very difficult experience.
He eventually showed up after leaving the family for three years. Upon his visit, she was lured by this man and ended up in bed with him again.
She later found out that she was pregnant with her second child, and she is currently at a loss as to what she should do.
Lilian, Abofu.
Dear Lilian,
When I read such stories, I get very angry with the victims—in this case, your sister—for being so careless.
She was extremely careless by having unprotected sex with a man who does not take responsibility.
As a matter of fact, the situation your sister finds herself in is heartbreaking and frustrating. Carrying another child with a man who has shown a consistent lack of care and respect towards her and their child is a heavy burden.
In this circumstance, her health and that of the unborn child, as well as the first child, should be her priority.
Tell your sister not to rely on the man again. She should rather find something to do to gain some financial independence.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have a question for you, and it is bothering me. Who made the law that family planning should be only for women when a couple decides not to have children again?
From my research, I have realised that women go through so many complications when trying to do family planning. My auntie died from tubal ligation, and that is a sickness related to family planning.
On the other hand, some men will always blame women for unwanted pregnancies, forgetting that they also have a role to play when it comes to family planning.
Why should it always be women endangering their lives? Some women bloat, others bleed non-stop because of family planning.
My question now is this: can men also go in for vasectomy?
Ayele, Osu.
Dear Ayele,
Your question is very interesting and can generate an unending debate.
Family planning should not be a woman’s burden alone. It is unfair to put all the responsibility and risk on women when both partners are equally involved in decision-making.
In my opinion, both couples should have access to information, resources, and healthcare to make informed decisions about their reproductive health.
The fact that your auntie died from a tubal ligation is heartbreaking, and it is a stark reminder of the risks women take.
Vasectomy is a simple, safe, and effective option for men. It is time for men to step up and take responsibility in family planning.
Not only can it prevent unwanted pregnancies, but it also shows respect for a partner’s health and well-being.
Couples should have open and honest discussions about family planning and be ready to share responsibility.
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