Obaa Yaa
My landlady is pestering me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been married for over two years to a wonderful lady I am four years older than.
Due to transportation challenges, we moved from Kasoa to Accra where we all work – but in different companies.
After going through the usual ‘hustle-and-bustle’ of accommodation searching in Accra, I met a young lady in her early 40s at a work gathering.
After exchanging pleasantries, we had some nice chat through which I told her I was looking for a place to stay with my wife.
She offered to help and truly, she gave me an address to a three-bedroom apartment for inspection and let her know whether I was interested.
I rushed to inspect it but the price the agent quoted was outrageous. After negotiating, he asked me to see the owner. To my surprise, this young lady happened to be the owner and decided to reduce the price for me to pay a year’s ‘advance.’
Few months after moving in my wife had a scholarship to study abroad. And ever since this lady visited once and got to know my wife had travelled, she has been pestering me for sex and has even asked me not to pay the rental fee if the current one expires.
Please what should I do?
Obed Samuels
Dansoman
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Dear Obed Samuels,
Your situation is very dicey but God will see you through.
You should never try cheating on your wife no matter the situation. Let the landlady know that you are not interested in having any affair with her especially when you are married and you have a responsible role to play.
Let her know that you are in a position to pay for the rent every year and therefore will not stay in the room for free.
Have a talk with her and appreciate her for all the good things she has done for your family by saying thank you. Let her understand you value your friendship with her very much and would not let any affair or emotions ruin that.
You love your wife and these are some of the challenges that come in the marriage therefore you should not give up but be firm as a man to fight against obstacles and setbacks.
I wish you all the best in everything and always pray to God to help you overcome such challenges. Stay blessed.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.
However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.
Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.
According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.
Thomas, Wa.
Dear Thomas,
First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.
If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.
Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.
At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.
A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.
If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.
I wish you all the best.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
