Obaa Yaa
My landlady is pestering me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been married for over two years to a wonderful lady I am four years older than.
Due to transportation challenges, we moved from Kasoa to Accra where we all work – but in different companies.
After going through the usual ‘hustle-and-bustle’ of accommodation searching in Accra, I met a young lady in her early 40s at a work gathering.
After exchanging pleasantries, we had some nice chat through which I told her I was looking for a place to stay with my wife.
She offered to help and truly, she gave me an address to a three-bedroom apartment for inspection and let her know whether I was interested.
I rushed to inspect it but the price the agent quoted was outrageous. After negotiating, he asked me to see the owner. To my surprise, this young lady happened to be the owner and decided to reduce the price for me to pay a year’s ‘advance.’
Few months after moving in my wife had a scholarship to study abroad. And ever since this lady visited once and got to know my wife had travelled, she has been pestering me for sex and has even asked me not to pay the rental fee if the current one expires.
Please what should I do?
Obed Samuels
Dansoman
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Dear Obed Samuels,
Your situation is very dicey but God will see you through.
You should never try cheating on your wife no matter the situation. Let the landlady know that you are not interested in having any affair with her especially when you are married and you have a responsible role to play.
Let her know that you are in a position to pay for the rent every year and therefore will not stay in the room for free.
Have a talk with her and appreciate her for all the good things she has done for your family by saying thank you. Let her understand you value your friendship with her very much and would not let any affair or emotions ruin that.
You love your wife and these are some of the challenges that come in the marriage therefore you should not give up but be firm as a man to fight against obstacles and setbacks.
I wish you all the best in everything and always pray to God to help you overcome such challenges. Stay blessed.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Due to a small misunderstanding, my wife has left her matrimonial home and had gone to stay with my in-laws. I have been invited by them to come for the matter to be settled.
However, I have been reliably informed that my wife and my three-year-old son are currently staying with a man.
This is so annoying, I want to call in the police to arrest and charge this man for abduction.
Philip,
Accra.
Dear Philip,
You don’t have a problem with this man. You have a problem with your wife.
Also, do not rely on hearsay to act. I suggest you go to your In-laws to ask of your wife and listen to what they have to say.
Go along with a mature member of your family and discuss the issue.
If it is just a ‘small misunderstanding’ as you say then let your attitude lead to reconciliation.
If it is true that your wife is living with a man and her parents endorse it then that is another matter.
Your family must meet her family squarely on the matter to decide whether your marriage to their daughter is over or not.
But don’t go for a divorce no matter how complicated things may turn out to be. You owe your child his happiness. The police is a last resort.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl of 25 years. My fiancé is 30 years. We met about three years ago when my fiancé was in training college. The plan was to get married after his schooling so we started making initial preparations towards that.
Now, my fiancé has started working in readiness to carry on with the engagement but his father says he should hold on because he started work not long ago.
His father doesn’t object to our relationship but he insists that my fiancé should further his education at the University before the engagement.
He warned, however, that if we insist on carrying out with the engagement, then he should be counted out. He would have nothing to do with his son again.
My fiancé also thinks marriage without the consent of the father can be disastrous because the Bible even talks about honouring one’s parents.
Obaa Yaa, my problem is that I cannot wait any longer. I feel like walking out of the relationship because my fiancé is being dictated to by the father. Please what should I do.
Ekua,
Obom.
Dear Ekua,
Probably your fiancé’s father is concerned about a better future for the two of you since marriage can be financially demanding.
What you are calling ‘engagement’ is customary marriage.
I believe you need to accept your boyfriend’s father’s advice and also use the opportunity to either further your education or be financially stable.
It is good to be married but it is better both partners are financially stable so that both of you will not be financially or emotionally drained in the marriage.
Real security is when you and your partner have no ulterior motive for marrying each other but for the sake of mutual love and respect which is based on the fear of God.
