Obaa Yaa
My landlady is pestering me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been married for over two years to a wonderful lady I am four years older than.
Due to transportation challenges, we moved from Kasoa to Accra where we all work – but in different companies.
After going through the usual ‘hustle-and-bustle’ of accommodation searching in Accra, I met a young lady in her early 40s at a work gathering.
After exchanging pleasantries, we had some nice chat through which I told her I was looking for a place to stay with my wife.
She offered to help and truly, she gave me an address to a three-bedroom apartment for inspection and let her know whether I was interested.
I rushed to inspect it but the price the agent quoted was outrageous. After negotiating, he asked me to see the owner. To my surprise, this young lady happened to be the owner and decided to reduce the price for me to pay a year’s ‘advance.’
Few months after moving in my wife had a scholarship to study abroad. And ever since this lady visited once and got to know my wife had travelled, she has been pestering me for sex and has even asked me not to pay the rental fee if the current one expires.
Please what should I do?
Obed Samuels
Dansoman
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Dear Obed Samuels,
Your situation is very dicey but God will see you through.
You should never try cheating on your wife no matter the situation. Let the landlady know that you are not interested in having any affair with her especially when you are married and you have a responsible role to play.
Let her know that you are in a position to pay for the rent every year and therefore will not stay in the room for free.
Have a talk with her and appreciate her for all the good things she has done for your family by saying thank you. Let her understand you value your friendship with her very much and would not let any affair or emotions ruin that.
You love your wife and these are some of the challenges that come in the marriage therefore you should not give up but be firm as a man to fight against obstacles and setbacks.
I wish you all the best in everything and always pray to God to help you overcome such challenges. Stay blessed.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
