Obaa Yaa
I had an affair with my friend’s fiancée
Dear Obaa Yaa,
It is exactly four years now since I befriended a lady who I got along with very well. She was very friendly and the easy-go type. In no time, she became a ‘darling girl’ of a few friends of mine.
The bond grew stronger and a few around us suspected we were actually dating.
One thing led to another and we had an affair after which we asked ourselves how it happened but we remained cool with ourselves.
It was after the act that she told me about her fiancé living in the USA but had not shown any seriousness in the relationship and was opened to any serious guy that comes around.
We continued having affair as and when we felt like and never bothered each other over whether we should be in a proper relationship.
She later relocated to Kumasi as her father was transferred but we remained buddies, charting heartily on phone for some time until she got a job that engaged her a lot.
Recently, I met an old friend of mine who has also relocated to Accra from Kumasi and after a brief chat, he promised to introduce his wife-to-be to me.
On the said date when we met, it was this good old friend of mine and that has left me confused over whether to tell my friend or not, although we vowed to keep what happened between us as a secret.
Lee Manuel, Ablekuma
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Dear Lee Manuel,
Your story is a very touching and emotional one but I am glad you opened up to me for advice. First of all, I would advise you open up to your friend to let him know everything that has happened so that he knows the kind of lady he is about to marry.
She lied and was not loyal to both you and your friend which is not right and fair.
If you keep the ‘secret’ to yourself and not open up, your friend will be disappointed in you when he finds out from someone else.
Remember what ever goes around comes around so be open and tell your friend. Let him know because he was not in the fray when you two were frolicking around.
All the best in your approaches and remember not to hide anything but tell the truth to your friend.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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