Obaa Yaa
My sister don’t want me to marry
Dear Obaa Yaa,
WE are three siblings – all girls. My elder sister and I are very close and share almost everything together. When I completed Junior High School, my elder sister was writing her Nov/Dec remedial because she failed in three core subject.
Due to this, my father refused to allow me to further my education until my sister passed her exams.
Whiles I was home, a friend introduced me to a man who eventually fell in love with me.
We dated for about a year and he has proposed.
My parents are in support of this but my sister is pleading with me not to marry because she is the eldest.
Since that is not the first time she is doing this, I discussed with my father but his response was more in support of my sister’s claim; that she is the eldest and I need not rush into marriage.
What should I do?
Kafui, Sogakope.
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Dear Kafui,
It’s sad you are going through this problem and I must say I’m happy you have opened up on this. First of all, you should approach your sister and ask her if she was ready to get married or move to the next level in life because time and tide waits for no man and as women, e mature earlier than men.
Her actions may be delaying you; that is certainly not the best, especially when your man is ready to marry you.
A man who is not ready to settle down will not propose to you. If you put impediments on his way, he would move on and get involved with someone else.
Your sister should not be a barrier to your marriage. Let your parents also talk to her. If she is not ready, it does not mean everything around him must come to a stall.
Pray about it and I trust that God will help you to overcome this problem.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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