Obaa Yaa
I am confused in life
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady in my early 30s. I had a child with someone but my parents did not approve our being together.
Three years down the line, I met another guy and I told him everything and he agreed to be with me and promised to marry me and stand by me.
After a year of dating, I got pregnant for him then he went to see my parents and promised them that after I had put to bed, he will come and marry me.
I have lived with him since my pregnancy and have done everything a woman does for her man but he keeps postponing the marriage rites.
Our child is a year and six months old now and he still has not said a word about performing the marriage rites.
We have been together for three years now.
What do I do please? I do not want to make the same mistake I made with my first child.
Sylvia, Amasaman.
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Dear Sylvia,
I want to commend your second boyfriend for staying with you throughout the period of pregnancy.
For a man to accept someone’s child as his own and still love you was a good thing and must be applauded for it.
I would advise you to be calm, take your time and just pray to God.
It can be that your husband-to-be is preparing himself well in terms of finance. You know marriage entails a lot in terms of finances because he needs to prepare for settle bride price and other marital demands for you to become his wife.
Don’t be in a rush for him to marry you now and not have money to take care of the home.
Approach him with a calm tone to know his mind, how things are going with the preparations and why he keeps postponing the dates.
You would not know his mind unless you ask him. Back your issues and problems with prayers and I believe everything would go on well successfully.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.
He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.
When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.
He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.
I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.
Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?
Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.
Dear Araba,
FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.
Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.
So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.
However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.
Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.
Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.
As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.
I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.
My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.
Please advise me.
Amevi, Ho.
Dear Amevi,
THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.
There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.
You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.
If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.
If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.
