Obaa Yaa
I want to propose to him
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I recently met this handsome and charming gentleman when I visited a particular church in Cape Coast. Throughout the service, my attention went on this guy who I perceived to be an active member of the church.
I had no idea why every movement he made caught my attention. And the fact that he was not wearing a ring suggested to me that he was single.
At the end of the service, the pastor asked all new visitors to stand up to be welcomed by the congregation so I joined the many others that had come for the first time.
And once again, this guy led the members that came to welcome us. The moment he said welcome to church my sister, his nice and composed voice sent shivers down my spine.
Fast forwarding, I have known this guy for some time now and we have become very close friends. I am hoping that he would one day express interest in me.
But when that day would come is what I don’t know now. As a single guy and very friendly, affable and attractive, I fear a daring girl feeling the same way about him could do the unthinkable of expressing her feelings for him.
I am thinking about asking his mind about me but I fear if it does not work, it could ruin our friendship. I need help please.
Micheline, Cape Coast
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Dear Micheline,
This is an interesting story and I must say that it is normal for a young lady like you to have feelings for a man you find attractive. Love is actually a beautiful thing but it is sad if you cannot express it.
The guy would not know you have feelings for him if you do not tell him about it. I always advise people to always be open and approach people when they feel something for them or have a problem with them.
If you have feelings for him, approach him and express it to him. Do not be shy. Feel free and say whatever is on your heart to him.
If he turns you down, do not feel bad or hate him for that; just take it easy and accept his decision in good faith.
I wish you all the best dear, stay blessed.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.
However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.
Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.
According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.
Thomas, Wa.
Dear Thomas,
First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.
If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.
Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.
At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.
A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.
If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.
I wish you all the best.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
