Obaa Yaa
Mummy dislikes my boyfriend who feeds me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 17 years old and an apprentice seamstress. I have a boyfriend who is 22 years old and a mechanic.
Obaa Yaa, the problem is that my mother does not like this boy at all.
She says he is a rascal. Meanwhile, it is this same rascal who has paid for my dressmaking course and feeds me two times in a day.
He even gives me money for transportation since our place at Abeka is far from where I am currently learning.
I am disturbed because my mother shows her dislike openly to this boy. I am afraid he will just leave me and I will lose all these benefits. What should I do?
Comfort,
Abeka -,Accra.
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Dear Comfort,
If your boyfriend is truly a rascal, then your mother has a point.
She is seeing it from the angle that he might put you into trouble one day, irrespective of the things he has been doing for you.
However, if you truly believes he is genuine and loves you, I would suggest you talk to your mother in a calm manner and explain things to her.
You can politely ask your mother to give him time and study him slowly so that she would realise that he is actually not the person she perceives him to be.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.
However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.
Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.
According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.
Thomas, Wa.
Dear Thomas,
First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.
If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.
Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.
At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.
A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.
If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.
I wish you all the best.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
