Obaa Yaa
Am I a lesbian?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 21 and she is 24 years old. We are both females. This friend of mine once told me she loved me. I considered that to mean the normal saying of telling someone you love the person.
One day, she saw me with a guy and looked surprised. Later, she warned me not to get myself a boyfriend or she will be angry with me.
After that incident, she started showering me with gifts and money. She behaves like a man towards me each time we meet, trying to hug and kiss me.
I have realised that my friend is a lesbian.
One day she touched my sensitive part and I gave in. Since then I have also fallen in love with her.
Obaa, please am I also a lesbian? If yes, how can we advise ourselves to stop?
Claudia,
Koforidua.
Dear Claudia,
It seems you are in the process of being converted to a lesbian. It appears you are not comfortable with the practice even though you seem to enjoy it.
However, you need to know that some pleasant and enjoyable things that come on a silver platter can be costly.
Lesbianism is something our society abhors, therefore getting yourself engaged in it can bring you a lot of troubles.
Religious bodies have openly condemned practitioners, making it difficult for them to be accepted in the society.
I want to advise you to seek help from counsellors and let you understand the dangers lesbianism would expose you to.
It could mean you cannot have your own children unless you decide at a point to quit.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Due to a small misunderstanding, my wife has left her matrimonial home and had gone to stay with my in-laws. I have been invited by them to come for the matter to be settled.
However, I have been reliably informed that my wife and my three-year-old son are currently staying with a man.
This is so annoying, I want to call in the police to arrest and charge this man for abduction.
Philip,
Accra.
Dear Philip,
You don’t have a problem with this man. You have a problem with your wife.
Also, do not rely on hearsay to act. I suggest you go to your In-laws to ask of your wife and listen to what they have to say.
Go along with a mature member of your family and discuss the issue.
If it is just a ‘small misunderstanding’ as you say then let your attitude lead to reconciliation.
If it is true that your wife is living with a man and her parents endorse it then that is another matter.
Your family must meet her family squarely on the matter to decide whether your marriage to their daughter is over or not.
But don’t go for a divorce no matter how complicated things may turn out to be. You owe your child his happiness. The police is a last resort.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl of 25 years. My fiancé is 30 years. We met about three years ago when my fiancé was in training college. The plan was to get married after his schooling so we started making initial preparations towards that.
Now, my fiancé has started working in readiness to carry on with the engagement but his father says he should hold on because he started work not long ago.
His father doesn’t object to our relationship but he insists that my fiancé should further his education at the University before the engagement.
He warned, however, that if we insist on carrying out with the engagement, then he should be counted out. He would have nothing to do with his son again.
My fiancé also thinks marriage without the consent of the father can be disastrous because the Bible even talks about honouring one’s parents.
Obaa Yaa, my problem is that I cannot wait any longer. I feel like walking out of the relationship because my fiancé is being dictated to by the father. Please what should I do.
Ekua,
Obom.
Dear Ekua,
Probably your fiancé’s father is concerned about a better future for the two of you since marriage can be financially demanding.
What you are calling ‘engagement’ is customary marriage.
I believe you need to accept your boyfriend’s father’s advice and also use the opportunity to either further your education or be financially stable.
It is good to be married but it is better both partners are financially stable so that both of you will not be financially or emotionally drained in the marriage.
Real security is when you and your partner have no ulterior motive for marrying each other but for the sake of mutual love and respect which is based on the fear of God.
