Obaa Yaa
Am I a lesbian?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 21 and she is 24 years old. We are both females. This friend of mine once told me she loved me. I considered that to mean the normal saying of telling someone you love the person.
One day, she saw me with a guy and looked surprised. Later, she warned me not to get myself a boyfriend or she will be angry with me.
After that incident, she started showering me with gifts and money. She behaves like a man towards me each time we meet, trying to hug and kiss me.
I have realised that my friend is a lesbian.
One day she touched my sensitive part and I gave in. Since then I have also fallen in love with her.
Obaa, please am I also a lesbian? If yes, how can we advise ourselves to stop?
Claudia,
Koforidua.
Dear Claudia,
It seems you are in the process of being converted to a lesbian. It appears you are not comfortable with the practice even though you seem to enjoy it.
However, you need to know that some pleasant and enjoyable things that come on a silver platter can be costly.
Lesbianism is something our society abhors, therefore getting yourself engaged in it can bring you a lot of troubles.
Religious bodies have openly condemned practitioners, making it difficult for them to be accepted in the society.
I want to advise you to seek help from counsellors and let you understand the dangers lesbianism would expose you to.
It could mean you cannot have your own children unless you decide at a point to quit.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.
He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.
When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.
He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.
I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.
Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?
Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.
Dear Araba,
FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.
Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.
So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.
However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.
Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.
Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.
As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.
I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.
My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.
Please advise me.
Amevi, Ho.
Dear Amevi,
THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.
There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.
You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.
If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.
If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.
