Obaa Yaa
Married woman is pestering me
I am in my mid-twenties and had just started my national service. I am single and do not have any intentions of starting a serious relationship at the moment. But I am worried as a woman who has two children continues to pester me into having an affair with her. I have told her I am not interested but she says I am “playing with her feelings.” She has started blackmailing me emotionally and it is becoming too much for me to handle. Please advise me.
Francis, Taifa
Dear Francis,
You have made the right decision to turn down her advances. Indeed, you are too young to start such relationship. Continue to shun her company and block any form of communication you have with her. She is supposed to be enjoying her marriage not to extend her untamed pleasures to you. Do not allow her to blackmail you emotionally. If you reside in the same vicinity but try and move to a location unknown to her and blacklist her contact numbers.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
WE have been married for three years with no child. We have been living together for about five years now.
For eight months, we had a lot of quarrels caused by her. I complained to her parents when they came for a visit.
I later left them in the house for an evening church service around 7pm. Upon my return after about 9:30pm, she was not in the house and neither were her parents. I opened the door and found out that she had left with all her belongings.
I did not go to look for her. She also did not come back that day. She came back on the fourth day to plead for forgiveness.
But the truth is that I have lost interest in her and the relationship, so her return after four days to seek forgiveness meant nothing to me. I don’t love her again. What should I do?
Yawson, Swedru.
Dear Yawson,
I DON’T understand why your wife decided to stay out for almost four days. My second headache is why her parents allowed her to pack out of her matrimonial home without your consent.
I understand your anger, but I think you must listen to her first; know where she went for four days and what informed the decision before arriving at a final verdict on her.
If you investigate and find out that she didn’t go anywhere to ‘misbehave,’ but just went away out of anger only to realise she was wrong, then she is worth forgiving. To err is human, to forgive is divine.
In your letter you said you do not love her again. Are you sure about that? Perhaps you are fuming with anger now, but when your anger abates, you’ll be in a better position to assess the situation.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been having a serious argument with a friend of mine on men and women, and I would like you to help us solve it.
For some time now, I have been hearing that the women in this country are more than the men, and my friend also supported it by saying that every man in this country is entitled to seven solid women.
In fact, Obaa Yaa, I am confused because at the various workplaces and in other organisations, you can see that the men outnumber the women, and the only place where the women outnumber the men is the markets.
Can you help us with statistics suggesting that men are more than women and also help me to establish the veracity of the claim that every man is supposed to marry more than one woman?
P. K. Tamakloe, Akosombo.
Dear P.K,
According to statistics, women are more than men in this country but not to the extent that one man can marry seven women.
There are about two men to three women, although the ratio is not definite. As it were, when you take two men, only one on the average can marry two wives. The other can only get a woman and no more.
My question is why you are worried about something you can’t change.
Besides, as a Christian, you are entitled to marry only one woman.
You should not encourage such conversations because it can affect some decisions you want to take in life.
