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Obaa Yaa

Marriage is scary

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am always attracted by the nice looks of couples who go out for a walk and engage in programmes to entertain themselves.

Love, tolerance and perseverance are the essential ingredients which make marriage stick together in a memorable bond.

Unfortunately, there are instances of couples taking  these qualities for granted and do whatever they like.    

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I was lucky to be close to my elder sister with whom l shared my aspirations, sentiments and sometimes secrets and sought her advice.    

She was in a relationship with a man who was her senior in the university and who occupied her mind at that time. 

This gentleman was known and loved by every member of the family and some of us were of the view that their marriage would be a memorable one from which others will derive immense inspiration.

I was not surprised when this man approached my parents that he would like to ask of my sister’s hand in marriage and pleaded for a list of items required to perform the customary rites.  

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However, my sister’s expectations fell short of her lover when she informed him that she was pregnant. He suggested that my sister should abort the pregnancy to enable them to prepare a comfortable foundation for a happy marriage.

My sister reluctantly succumbed to abort the pregnancy only to realise a few weeks later that her lover was ready to wed another lady.

The situation has made my sister to develop hatred for men and she has vowed never to entertain any man for a relationship.

Can men be trusted in a circumstance like this?   

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Akosua, Accra.

Dear Akosua,

The abuse of trust as in your sister’s case is unfortunate and should not be encouraged.  Your sister is fortunate to be in a sound mind despite the misfortune that has befallen her.

This gentleman’s character suggests that he was dating two ladies at the same time but took undue advantage of your sister. He should have compensated your sister for the inconvenience caused her.

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Your sister should have asked for compensation from him to commensurate the inconvenience he had caused her.

This gentleman has not acted in good faith and should not be trusted. It, therefore, suggest that your sister will not forgive him if she is unable to conceive because of the abortion.

I would like to assure you that the lives of other couples should serve as a source of encouragement for your sister and she will get a good partner in life.

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Obaa Yaa

My journalist fiancé has no time for me

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

MY fiancé is a journalist with one of the reputable media houses in Ghana.

Plans are far advanced for us to tie the knot but my worry is that he’s always busy and comes home late every evening when I am in bed.

By the nature of his work and schedule, as soon as he comes home, he takes his bath and supper. The next thing is to sleep without spending time with me.

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He has no holiday. On Sundays, he goes again to work after church service. I am beginning to entertain some fears that things will get worse when we get married.

I am the type who like to be pampered but my fiancé is not pampering me.

Please advise me to make an informed decision before it becomes too late.

Paulina,
Dodowa.

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Dear Paulina,

THERE are no specified working hours for journalists. In short, they are always on the move.

That is why it appears they cannot be good husbands.

And if you want a man who will be at home and pamper you, then a journalist might not suit that purpose, unless he is on leave.

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However, I wouldn’t discourage you. Journalists are very interesting people who learn a lot and can help you to widen your outlook.

Don’t look at the romantic aspect of it only; consider the future of the relationship, your self-development and the future of your children. I wish you all the best.

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Obaa Yaa

My boss wants me to wear short skirt

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a Christian sister who believe in the biblical code of modest dressing as a mark of a true Christian.

My dress is always the long type, covering my knees.

My boss addressed me yesterday that such dressing was not needed in the company, particularly as a Personal Assistant.

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He says my dresses should be office mini type to show my legs to attract a lot of customers since we are in the business of selling.

Obaa Yaa, I am confused about my boss’s demand as this will affect my Christian principle of decent and modest Christian dressing.

Please advise me.

Emefa,
Sogakope.

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Dear Emefa,

Normally, Personal Assistants are generally expected to be smart in skirt and top of the same material or white top and blue- black skirt.

Unusually long dresses or skirts do not make Personal Assistant look smart, so employers will normally require that very long dresses are not worn by their PAs.

You could get skirts that are long enough to cover your knees so that your thighs are not exposed. You can look decent in that and do your job.

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However, if your particular church does not allow the exposure of even your legs, then the only option is to resign and get another job where your kind of dressing will be tolerated.

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