Obaa Yaa
Many disappointments worrying
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a graduate teacher plying my trade in one of the prestigious schools in Accra with a good salary. Though l am desirous of getting married, and starting my family on time, three successive relationships have been unsuccessful and the problem keeps worrying me and l am gradually getting frustrated.
The situation has got to a stage that people are pointing accusing fingers at me as the cause of the frequent break ups in my relationships. Some colleagues, who were concerned about the frequent unsuccessful relationships and enquired from me, were satisfied with the explanation l gave them.
Unfortunately, others who could not muster the courage to find out from me held the wrong impression that l was the cause of the problem and, therefore, considered me a bad person.
Having had enough of the ridicule, insults and humiliation among others, l have decided to stay single not to meddle in the affairs of others in order to be embarrassed.
I am worried and incapable of lifting up my head in society. What shall l do?
Frank, Accra.
Dear Frank,
It is my belief that certain things happen without following any particular formula. The unsuccessful relationships you have encounterred could be due to coincidence and should not force you to think otherwise and throw up your hands in total despair.
What you ought to do is to study your lover before you enter into any serious relationship. This will prevent the incidence of frequent embarrassment as you have described in your letter. I wish you success in your next relationship.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
