Obaa Yaa
Many disappointments worrying
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a graduate teacher plying my trade in one of the prestigious schools in Accra with a good salary. Though l am desirous of getting married, and starting my family on time, three successive relationships have been unsuccessful and the problem keeps worrying me and l am gradually getting frustrated.
The situation has got to a stage that people are pointing accusing fingers at me as the cause of the frequent break ups in my relationships. Some colleagues, who were concerned about the frequent unsuccessful relationships and enquired from me, were satisfied with the explanation l gave them.
Unfortunately, others who could not muster the courage to find out from me held the wrong impression that l was the cause of the problem and, therefore, considered me a bad person.
Having had enough of the ridicule, insults and humiliation among others, l have decided to stay single not to meddle in the affairs of others in order to be embarrassed.
I am worried and incapable of lifting up my head in society. What shall l do?
Frank, Accra.
Dear Frank,
It is my belief that certain things happen without following any particular formula. The unsuccessful relationships you have encounterred could be due to coincidence and should not force you to think otherwise and throw up your hands in total despair.
What you ought to do is to study your lover before you enter into any serious relationship. This will prevent the incidence of frequent embarrassment as you have described in your letter. I wish you success in your next relationship.
Obaa Yaa
Let’s protect the girl child
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a mother whose children are all girls. I am having sleepless nights over cases of little girls being defiled lately.
I wished to give birth to boys because my parents gave birth to only girls.
I am getting worried with the way the girl child is taken advantage of by unscrupulous men and it appears these men are going unpunished.
What can I do to protect my children? We must begin to see actions geared at saving the girl child.
Araba,
Takoradi.
Dear Araba,
YOU must begin to have very frank talk with your little girls. Tell them about sex, and tell them it is wrong for little girls to engage in it.
Tell them that it is wrong for anyone, most especially strangers, to touch or fondle their private parts and should not hesitate to report such cases.
With the children who are too young to speak properly (below three years), make it a point to bath them yourself either in the morning or evening and observe their private parts to make sure are well.
Do not leave them in the company of boys or men for long periods without checking on them.
Obaa Yaa
My mum wants me to end my relationship
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 26 year old driver, and she is 24 and an apprentice seamstress. We have known each other for three years.
I was having launch when my girl entered with another man but she didn’t see me.
When I asked who the man was, she said he was from her hometown and was invited by him for a drink. I just slapped her and she left.
Obaa, I had seen this man with my girlfriend another night and when I questioned them, he tried to fight.
I slapped him and he went to the police station to report that someone had assaulted him and stolen his necklace, watch and an amount of money.
The matter got to my mother and I was asked to pay Gh¢8,000 for assault.
My mother says, I should break up with the girl but I love her and can’t do that. What should I do?
Efe, Mallam.
*****
Dear Isaac,
Your girlfriend needs to be talked to instead of slaps. Let her understand that you felt threatened by the man who is not a mutual friend to the two of you.
You must explain to her that even though this man is from her town, she should have introduced him to you and also make an effort not to be with him at places and times that arouse suspicion.
This would be the first part of saving your relationship. The second part is that you need to control your temper as violence would always land you in trouble.
Finally you need to reassure your mother that you would never act the way you did again.
