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Obaa Yaa

l suspect she has secret lover

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Dear Obaa Yaa,
l am 28 years old trader and l have a lady who is 25 years old and also a petty trader. We have planned to stay without sex and use the period to study each other well before getting married.
We have planned not to visit each other in the night in order to avoid falling into the temptation of indulging in pre-marital sex. During this period, we occasionally buy nice gifts for each other and our birthdays are treated with special presents.
Since she comes to assist me in selling my goods, l have suggested that we occupy the same shop where l operate but she has objected to it for the reason that her customers will find it difficult to locate her.
My lady occasionally visits me on Sundays because that is the only day we do not sell in the market.
As the years pass by and desires keep mounting, l have asked her for sex but she has refused to give in to my request.
Judging from her actions and utterances these days, l am suspecting that she has a secret lover who she gives much attention to of late and, therefore, does not mind me these days.
l am planning to pick someone who will satisfy my sexual desires and probably marry me if the need be. Should l go ahead?
Matthew, Akim Oda.

Dear Matthew,
Marriage is a life-long process which is complex and goes beyond sex. Therefore, a partner who is capable of providing a fraction of this requirement would eventually become a failure.
Your decision not to visit each other in the night to prevent the two of you from indulging in pre-marital sex is commendable, since it takes ladies who are morally strong and prepared to withstand temptations while in friendship.
As the two of you have made a decision about your future, you should encourage each other to stick to your principles.
Suspicion is not good in a relationship, therefore, try to iron out petty issues with her and matters will be good.

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Obaa Yaa

My sister’s boyfriend is pestering meDear Obaa Yaa,

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I am in my final year in the university. My elder sister has been very supportive after the death of our parents.

My sister has a boyfriend who visits often. Anytime he comes around, she wonders why I don’t entertain him and why I suddenly find an excuse to leave the room. She takes it as me being cold, even jealous, and it angers her more than I can even imagine.

She has no idea about what is going on behind her back. He has asked me out on several occasions and looks at me in a lustful manner.

But my problem is that I never told my sister the real reason I avoid her boyfriend. I have kept my distance, not out of hate for her or for him, but because I carry a secret that would break her heart.

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Princess, Tema.


Dear Princess,

Why are you keeping this away from your sister? As long as you continue to live under the same roof with your sister, tell her about her boyfriend’s behaviour.

Have you by any chance confided in any relative? I’ll advise you to open up to someone, at least to take the weight off your shoulder.

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Act fast before the situation exacerbates.

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Obaa Yaa

My tenant is too lazy

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a young lady of 23 years who lives in a compound house around Kasoa in the Central Region. I live with my auntie.

We are not always at home because she spends most of the time at the market due to her business, and I am mostly on campus.

One sunny afternoon, I overheard some tenants talking about another who takes her bath in a basin and throws the water away. We have two big bathrooms, but just because she doesn’t want to scrub, she has refused to bathe there.

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Although she is usually not around due to her work as a nurse, it doesn’t warrant her to do as she pleases. We have spoken to the landlord about it, but she seems unconcerned. What should I do?

Beatrice, Accra


Dear Beatrice,

I am surprised that your landlord seems unperturbed.

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Have you considered having a conversation with the tenant to find out why she ignores the chores? She does not seem bothered about the kind of perception the other tenants have about her.

Why would a young lady who is a nurse and an advocate for healthy living be this lazy and unconcerned about her surroundings?

No excuse should be tolerated just because she’s a nurse and mostly not around.

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