Obaa Yaa
l feel shy to propose to her
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I read your column every week and l find it interesting and educative. This will surely help the young ones to shape their lives. The sort of complex letters you have receive d and the soothing solutions you offer to people in distress is quite encouraging.
I am in love with a lady who was my study-mate in the university and l attend the same church with her. She is a chorister while l serve as an usher.
Having been in her company for some years, l have realised that she is a hard working lady, very meticulous about details and l can conclude that she will be a good wife.
Unfortunately, l find it difficult to disclose my intention to her because l am afraid that she may turn down my marriage proposal, a situation which can possibly end our friendship.
I feel reluctant because our conversations have not centred on issues pertaining to marriage.
What step do you suggest l take?
John, Kumasi.
Dear John,
I wish to thank you for the passion you have for this column and for making time to read it every week. Indeed, your long-standing friendship as school mates and to church among others has given you a better knowledge about what this lady is worth and capable of doing.
Just as you are observing her as some who posses these enviable qualities, so is another gentleman also taking steps to propose to her if that is not done already. l suggest that you must go by the popular adage which says, “Make haste while the sun shines”.
If you are not careful, your proposal will be too late. Additionally, your long association with her should give you the added advantage and the courage to propose to her.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
