Obaa Yaa
Can l suggest to my cousin to marry this lady?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I know a pretty lady, who is respectful, has unblemished character who l have admired all these years.
I have an elderly cousin, though of age and has been working more than six years without a wife, all appeals to him to marry have not been heeded.
Lately, he was summoned by the elders of the family on the same issue but he did not take the suggestion serious.
Aware that this pretty lady is without a husband, l would like to give his contact number to you through your editor so that you can have a chat with him and tell him of my suggestion.
I would be glad if you could try to find out from him what is preventing him from getting married.
I do not care if you mention my name to him that l have given out his telephone number so that you can call him. Of importance is the need to tell him about this lady who is dear to my heart.
You can suggest to him that he should heed the many calls from his family members and marry.
Kwame, Tema.
Dear Kwame,
You have demonstrated the love for your cousin and your desire that he should marry a lady who by your estimation is good and must, therefore, be married to your cousin.
Though you have taken the right step, it is sometimes difficult to make suggestions in this regard, because it is rather better for the individual to make his own choice. Should there be any problem in the marriage, you are the first person to be blamed for making a wrong choice.
On the contrary, if there is any fault with the person’s own selection, he will have himself to blame.
You can send his contact to me as you have suggested and l will try my best in this regard.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am in a relationship with a woman in her late 30s, while I am in my mid-40s. We have been together for the past five years.
My problem is that we work in the same firm and share the same office. For reasons best known to her, she left me for our Manager.
When I confronted her about her behaviour and pleaded with her to end whatever she had with him, she insisted that they were “just friends.”
I am confused and hurt. Does she have any positive plans for me at all? Also, is it normal for a woman to be overly free with any man who shows interest in her?
Finally, is it right for a woman to test a man’s love, as many ladies claim they do?
Kwesi, Tafo
Dear Kwesi,
This situation has the potential to hurt you deeply, especially if she returns only when the other option is no longer available. That kind of behaviour is troubling and emotionally unfair.
From what you describe, she crossed a line and should acknowledge her wrongdoing and apologise sincerely before you even consider moving forward. No one has the right to toy with another person’s feelings simply because they are unhappy or uncertain.
You need to sit her down and have a mature, honest conversation about the direction and seriousness of the relationship.
Most importantly, ask yourself this question: Is this the kind of woman you would want to marry and spend the rest of your life with?
Your answer should guide your next decision.
Greetings,
Obaa Yaa
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
We live on a compound with five flats, and I am struggling with the looks I get from my neighbours every morning. The way they stare at me feels so horrible.
My husband moans so loud during sex, and this happens almost every day. I always try to cover up but he always finds a way to keep making noise. He screams my name very loudly.
We have not yet completed our own house, and it will not be happening anytime soon. Please, how do I get him to stop all this excessive moans? I am so ashamed to move around the compound. The worst part is that my compound neighbours always see me when I am coming in or going out. Sometimes they avoid me and give me some looks, gossiping about me. Obaa Yaa, what should I do?
Adzo, Keta.
Dear Adzo,
What you are experiencing is quite embarrassing and emotionally painful.
Your feelings are completely valid. You are not doing anything wrong, immoral, or indecent.
The situation continues not because of your actions, but because your husband is ignoring your repeated pleas for privacy and dignity.
A loving and considerate spouse does not trivialise such distress. You need to have one final, calm but firm conversation with him outside the bedroom, making it clear that this behaviour of his is hurting you and must stop.
At the same time, set a clear boundary: if the noise continues, you will not feel comfortable being intimate with him when others can hear.
This is not punishment; it is self-protection. You can also reduce exposure temporarily by closing windows, adding background music, and choosing more private times.
Hold your head up and remember you have done nothing disgraceful. If your husband still refuses to change, seek marital counselling or a trusted mediator he respects. You deserve privacy, respect, and emotional safety in your marriage.
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