Obaa Yaa
l feel shy to propose to her
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I read your column every week and l find it interesting and educative. This will surely help the young ones to shape their lives. The sort of complex letters you have receive d and the soothing solutions you offer to people in distress is quite encouraging.
I am in love with a lady who was my study-mate in the university and l attend the same church with her. She is a chorister while l serve as an usher.
Having been in her company for some years, l have realised that she is a hard working lady, very meticulous about details and l can conclude that she will be a good wife.
Unfortunately, l find it difficult to disclose my intention to her because l am afraid that she may turn down my marriage proposal, a situation which can possibly end our friendship.
I feel reluctant because our conversations have not centred on issues pertaining to marriage.
What step do you suggest l take?
John, Kumasi.
Dear John,
I wish to thank you for the passion you have for this column and for making time to read it every week. Indeed, your long-standing friendship as school mates and to church among others has given you a better knowledge about what this lady is worth and capable of doing.
Just as you are observing her as some who posses these enviable qualities, so is another gentleman also taking steps to propose to her if that is not done already. l suggest that you must go by the popular adage which says, “Make haste while the sun shines”.
If you are not careful, your proposal will be too late. Additionally, your long association with her should give you the added advantage and the courage to propose to her.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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