Obaa Yaa
l feel shy to propose to her
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I read your column every week and l find it interesting and educative. This will surely help the young ones to shape their lives. The sort of complex letters you have receive d and the soothing solutions you offer to people in distress is quite encouraging.
I am in love with a lady who was my study-mate in the university and l attend the same church with her. She is a chorister while l serve as an usher.
Having been in her company for some years, l have realised that she is a hard working lady, very meticulous about details and l can conclude that she will be a good wife.
Unfortunately, l find it difficult to disclose my intention to her because l am afraid that she may turn down my marriage proposal, a situation which can possibly end our friendship.
I feel reluctant because our conversations have not centred on issues pertaining to marriage.
What step do you suggest l take?
John, Kumasi.
Dear John,
I wish to thank you for the passion you have for this column and for making time to read it every week. Indeed, your long-standing friendship as school mates and to church among others has given you a better knowledge about what this lady is worth and capable of doing.
Just as you are observing her as some who posses these enviable qualities, so is another gentleman also taking steps to propose to her if that is not done already. l suggest that you must go by the popular adage which says, “Make haste while the sun shines”.
If you are not careful, your proposal will be too late. Additionally, your long association with her should give you the added advantage and the courage to propose to her.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.
He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.
When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.
He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.
I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.
Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?
Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.
Dear Araba,
FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.
Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.
So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.
However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.
Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.
Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.
As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.
I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.
My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.
Please advise me.
Amevi, Ho.
Dear Amevi,
THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.
There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.
You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.
If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.
If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.
