Obaa Yaa
Can l suggest to my cousin to marry this lady?
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I know a pretty lady, who is respectful, has unblemished character who l have admired all these years.
I have an elderly cousin, though of age and has been working more than six years without a wife, all appeals to him to marry have not been heeded.
Lately, he was summoned by the elders of the family on the same issue but he did not take the suggestion serious.
Aware that this pretty lady is without a husband, l would like to give his contact number to you through your editor so that you can have a chat with him and tell him of my suggestion.
I would be glad if you could try to find out from him what is preventing him from getting married.
I do not care if you mention my name to him that l have given out his telephone number so that you can call him. Of importance is the need to tell him about this lady who is dear to my heart.
You can suggest to him that he should heed the many calls from his family members and marry.
Kwame, Tema.
Dear Kwame,
You have demonstrated the love for your cousin and your desire that he should marry a lady who by your estimation is good and must, therefore, be married to your cousin.
Though you have taken the right step, it is sometimes difficult to make suggestions in this regard, because it is rather better for the individual to make his own choice. Should there be any problem in the marriage, you are the first person to be blamed for making a wrong choice.
On the contrary, if there is any fault with the person’s own selection, he will have himself to blame.
You can send his contact to me as you have suggested and l will try my best in this regard.
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
