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Obaa Yaa

Can l suggest to my cousin to marry this lady?

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I know a pretty lady, who is respectful, has unblemished character who l have admired all these years.

I have an elderly cousin, though of age and has been working more than six years without a wife, all appeals to him to marry have not been heeded.   

Lately, he was summoned by the elders of the family on the same issue but he did not take the suggestion serious. 

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Aware that this pretty lady is without a husband, l would like to give his contact number to you through your editor so that you can have a chat with him and tell him of my suggestion.

I would be glad if you could try to find out from him what is preventing him from getting married.

I do not care if you mention my name to him that l have given out his telephone number so that you can call him.  Of importance is the need to tell him about this lady who is dear to my heart.

You can suggest to him that he should heed the many calls from his family members and marry.

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Kwame, Tema.

Dear Kwame,

You have demonstrated the love for your cousin and your desire that he should marry a lady who by your estimation is good and must, therefore, be married to your cousin.  

Though you have taken the right step, it is sometimes difficult to make suggestions in this regard, because it is rather better for the individual to make his own choice. Should there be any problem in the marriage, you are the first person to be blamed for making a wrong choice.

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 On the contrary, if there is any fault with the person’s own selection, he will have himself to blame.

You can send his contact to me as you have suggested and l will try my best in this regard.

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Obaa Yaa

My wife cheated twice

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Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.

She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.

I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?

Yoofi, Takoradi.

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Dear Yoofi,

What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.

At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.

However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?

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Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.

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Obaa Yaa

Girls are dishonest

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.

I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.

About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.

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After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.

This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.

Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.

 I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.

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In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.

Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.

David, Tema.

Dear David,

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Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.

You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.

If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.

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