Obaa Yaa
l feel shy to propose to her
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I read your column every week and l find it interesting and educative. This will surely help the young ones to shape their lives. The sort of complex letters you have receive d and the soothing solutions you offer to people in distress is quite encouraging.
I am in love with a lady who was my study-mate in the university and l attend the same church with her. She is a chorister while l serve as an usher.
Having been in her company for some years, l have realised that she is a hard working lady, very meticulous about details and l can conclude that she will be a good wife.
Unfortunately, l find it difficult to disclose my intention to her because l am afraid that she may turn down my marriage proposal, a situation which can possibly end our friendship.
I feel reluctant because our conversations have not centred on issues pertaining to marriage.
What step do you suggest l take?
John, Kumasi.
Dear John,
I wish to thank you for the passion you have for this column and for making time to read it every week. Indeed, your long-standing friendship as school mates and to church among others has given you a better knowledge about what this lady is worth and capable of doing.
Just as you are observing her as some who posses these enviable qualities, so is another gentleman also taking steps to propose to her if that is not done already. l suggest that you must go by the popular adage which says, “Make haste while the sun shines”.
If you are not careful, your proposal will be too late. Additionally, your long association with her should give you the added advantage and the courage to propose to her.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We are a family of three—my dad, mom, and myself, being the only daughter of my parents.
My dad provided everything we needed; he was a very fun-loving man and the backbone of our family. He was always ready to give us jokes and anecdotes before going to bed, making our lives full of laughter and love.
One morning, I woke up to an eerie silence. I called out for my dad, but there was no response. We were all shocked, confused, and grief-stricken because daddy was our backbone—our emotional and financial support, the one who made us smile no matter the storms we were facing. We kept asking, what did he do wrong?
Lady Tina, Akosombo
Advice
Dear Tina,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a loved one, especially in a tragic and unexpected manner, is incredibly painful.
Here are some steps you can take to cope and move forward:
- Seek justice and support: If your dad’s death involved wrongdoing, cooperate fully with the authorities as they work to identify the perpetrator.
- Lean on your support network: Reach out to trusted family friends, relatives, or a therapist for emotional support during this difficult time.
- Care for yourselves: It is very important to take care of both your mom’s and your physical and emotional well-being. Grieving is a process, and everyone copes differently.
- Be gentle with yourself: Allow yourself time to grieve and heal. Do not hesitate to seek help whenever needed.
Remember, Tina, it’s okay to lean on others and take things one day at a time.
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Dear Counselor,
I have decided to put this into writing to seek your advice and counsel. I am a 21-year-old girl who completed Senior High School (SHS) three years ago and am currently at home.
During my Basic School and SHS days, I had two mutual friends I always moved along with. We stayed in the same apartment, went to the same schools from basic level to senior high school. We literally did everything together, and our friendship was so strong that everyone thought we were sisters.
We all gained admission into the University, but I could not join them because things were bad financially for my parents. They could not afford my fees to register my courses, so I had no other option than to stay home.
As a result of my situation, my friends no longer relate to me as they did earlier. They take decisions without me, make me feel inferior, and leave me out. Their behaviour, gestures, and negative body language say it all. I was completely broken when they told me I no longer fit into their circle of friendship.
Jessica, Lashibi
Advice
Dear Jessica,
It is really sad that your friends are behaving this way toward you. Here are some steps you can consider:
- Seek clarification: Approach them calmly and ask why they have been acting this way. You cannot live by assumptions alone.
- Value yourself: Even though some friendships do not last forever, being emotionally drained is not the best option. Your 10 years of memories are precious, but you also deserve respect.
- Move on if needed: If your friends continue to make you feel inferior, take a bold step and move forward without them. True friends respect and uplift each other.
- Focus on your future:
- Plan your life and look for menial jobs to cover expenses.
- Save money to further your education.
- Try online courses to prepare ahead of time.
- Apply for scholarship programs to support your studies.
Remember, Jessica, your worth is not determined by others’ approval. Surround yourself with people who respect, encourage, and celebrate your growth.
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