Obaa Yaa
Ex-boyfriend offers me job
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 27 years old, unemployed and got married six months ago. Though my husband has got a job, his meagre salary can barely sustain the family for a week and things are going bad.
A few weeks ago, my ex-boy friend who treated me badly and almost succeeded in pushing me into the grave, told me that he had got a job for me in his father’s factory.
l rejected the offer outright, having considered the humiliation, pain and maltreatment my ex-boyfriend had meted out to me resulting in the abrupt end of the relationship.
However, when l recollected the toil my husband went through to keep the family going, I eventually decided to accept the offer in order to save the family from disgrace.
Should l accept the job or could this cause me a serious problem?
Ama, Kumasi.
Dear Ama,
This offer could cause a problem in your marriage if care is not taken. Your former boyfriend could be looking for an avenue to entice you into his arms once again.
Moreover, your detractors could use this opportunity to tell lies to your husband about things they have not seen or heard.
Though your former boyfriend could use this opportunity to appease you for the wrongs he had done against you, his brilliant idea could change to envy because of your past relationship.
Kindly turn down this offer to save your marriage and trust in the Lord for another opportunity will knock on your door.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
