Obaa Yaa
Itching to find out if he loves me
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have a boyfriend and things have been moving on smoothly with us without sex until recently when I came across a young graduate who has completed his national service and living in the same vicinity with me.
This gentleman looks unfriendly when viewed from afar but he is down- to- earth and loves all people.
Additionally, he is serviceable and ever willing to give a helping hand no matter the type of work.
In view of this, I always call him whenever I am in dire need of assistance and I have taken him as my sibling.
Though he is good to me, he has never proposed to me but keeps on calling me “My love”.
He is such a caring and nice gentleman and my instinct tells me to find out from him whether he is interested in me, but my friends told me not to draw his attention to that because they believe he is doing this from his heart.
I am not convinced because when I checked his messages this evening, he has expressed his appreciation to me for all that I have been doing over the period. I sometimes go to his house and prepare food for him and he appreciates all that I do and tells me he loves me.
I would like to find out from him if he is interested in me because he is the shy-looking type who will always like to keep himself from trouble. When it comes to worse I will simply back out of getting close to him, though he is of immense assistance to me.
My boyfriend too has a lot on his hands so I don’t want to worry him sometimes. What should I do?
Ama, Tema.
Dear Ama,
Some people hardly talk openly express their feelings in public no matter the promptings or temptations that they are confronted with.
Your situation can be likened to an open race type for which you have to study the two gentlemen thoroughly and possibly wait for the opportune time to take decision.
Once you have not received any response from the new gentleman to know his intention or what he feels about you, there is every reason to maintain your composure. Equally essential is the need to be careful with your friends since not everyone will be sincere in the pieces of advice they will give.
Inasmuch as it is important to tread cautiously and let time be a determining factor in this case, you ought to play your cards in a diplomatic manner in order to get the best person out of the two.
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
