Obaa Yaa
Itching to find out if he loves me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have a boyfriend and things have been moving on smoothly with us without sex until recently when I came across a young graduate who has completed his national service and living in the same vicinity with me.
This gentleman looks unfriendly when viewed from afar but he is down- to- earth and loves all people.
Additionally, he is serviceable and ever willing to give a helping hand no matter the type of work.
In view of this, I always call him whenever I am in dire need of assistance and I have taken him as my sibling.
Though he is good to me, he has never proposed to me but keeps on calling me “My love”.
He is such a caring and nice gentleman and my instinct tells me to find out from him whether he is interested in me, but my friends told me not to draw his attention to that because they believe he is doing this from his heart.
I am not convinced because when I checked his messages this evening, he has expressed his appreciation to me for all that I have been doing over the period. I sometimes go to his house and prepare food for him and he appreciates all that I do and tells me he loves me.
I would like to find out from him if he is interested in me because he is the shy-looking type who will always like to keep himself from trouble. When it comes to worse I will simply back out of getting close to him, though he is of immense assistance to me.
My boyfriend too has a lot on his hands so I don’t want to worry him sometimes. What should I do?
Ama, Tema.
Dear Ama,
Some people hardly talk openly express their feelings in public no matter the promptings or temptations that they are confronted with.
Your situation can be likened to an open race type for which you have to study the two gentlemen thoroughly and possibly wait for the opportune time to take decision.
Once you have not received any response from the new gentleman to know his intention or what he feels about you, there is every reason to maintain your composure. Equally essential is the need to be careful with your friends since not everyone will be sincere in the pieces of advice they will give.
Inasmuch as it is important to tread cautiously and let time be a determining factor in this case, you ought to play your cards in a diplomatic manner in order to get the best person out of the two.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
