Obaa Yaa
She is unwilling to break up with me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 35 years old married man with two children, but two years ago, I befriended a 25-year-old lady.
Before we started our friendship, I explained to her that I was married but she said she was not bothered.
She is very kind, open-minded and possesses the quality every man would look for in a lady.
Our relationship has developed to the extent that she feels lonely and uneasy if she does not see me after a couple of days.
When I suggested to her recently that we should end our relationship because I have discovered that I was wasting her time, she burst in uncontrollable tears.
According to her, she cannot stay without me and that she loves me because of the way I treat her, adding that she always feels comfortable in my arms. She has threatened that if I press further to leave her she would take her life.
Unfortunately, I am not financially sound to cater for two wives.
Please what step should I take?
Kwame, Accra.
Dear Kwame,
Sometimes people find it extremely difficult to comprehend issues pertaining to love.
You are frank in putting across your problem for a solution which needs a gradual approach in dealing with it. Since the lady has threatened to take her life, you must treat this information with great caution and the seriousness that it deserves.
Constant dialogue and the desire to calm down tempers will gradually solve the problem and she will take her mind off you.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
