Obaa Yaa
He has broken my heart
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a Level 300 student in the university and started a relationship with a gentleman in October last year.
I was deeply involved with him to the extent that I thought I had found the ideal man I had prayed for and was not prepared to listen to anyone but was ready to spend the rest of my life with him.
This young man gave me the assurance that he was everything I needed in a relationship and was prepared to marry me.
Before reaching this decision, he introduced me to a couple of friends that I was the one he was going to marry and promised to take me to his parents. This gave me the impression that I was the only person in his life and that he will do everything to marry me.
Early this year, there were signs that our union was not on a sound footing because he received series of calls from a particular lady but he declined to pick the calls. Later he picked and promised to call the person later. This confirmed my fears that there was something wrong with our relationship.
My initial enquiries proved that he had somebody but he denied when I questioned him. It became clear that the nice bond of love that we claimed to have established was a stock pile of deceit.
I had the shock of my life when a close friend of his confirmed my fears that my lover has a two-year-old child.
Things became worse before April and we finally had to break up in May.
I never cheated on him but I love this guy and did everything to make him happy. What should I do now since my heart is broken?
Ama, Accra.
Dear Ama,
It is unfortunate that this gentleman has given you the false hope that he was going to marry you and the promise made you to put your trust in him.
Now that you know his character do not give him the opportunity to deceive you that it was a mistake.
Remember that this guy cannot be trusted because he has a child and was only making fun of you.
Thank God that the secret surrounding this gentleman has been revealed and you now know your stand.
Take heart and listen to what your conscience tells you. Re-organise your life and with time, you will definitely get your partner who will be faithful and love you. .
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
