Obaa Yaa
Our maid is pregnant
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My family hired the services of a maid to help in caring for our child since the two of us are civil servants. Our greatest worry is that this girl is pregnant but hails from a poor family.
The parent’s greatest wish was that she must raise some money to enable them send her to school.
As Christians who know the essence of education and having considered how poor and helpless her parents gave us much concern.
We decided to end the contract since it would be difficult to retain her in the house.
My wife was disturbed about how her stay with us has ended and wished that we keep the maid under our care but I disagreed with her proposal because the longer we allow her to stay in the house, the more complex our problem will be.
Do you think we have acted responsibly in this case?
Kwame, Accra.
Dear Kwame,
This can be likened to a breach of contract, however you have acted humanely and this is a character of a true Christian.
The decision to let her go is the best because keeping her with you will automatically add more cost to your expenditure and increase your stress by ensuring her welfare. Thank God that the fault did not come from you.
You ought to know the gentleman who has impregnated her, know the boy’s parents and inform the parents of the maid about what has happened. These are the initial steps you have to take before you send the maid to her parents.
Try to buy her some parting gifts, maintain a good relationship between you and her parents to monitor her progress in life.
At this stage she may be traumatised so handle her with care and teach her the appropriate steps to take
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I took off my wedding rings but could not find it again. I was washing when I took them off and placed them on a wall close to me. Honestly, after washing I forgot to pick them up until the evening, when my husband asked where my ring were, I quickly dashed out of the room to check where I had placed them, but they were not there. My husband made it clear that I was cheating that was why I could take my rings off and lose them.
I was packing to leave the house when the bags fell and I heard a tinkling sound of metals instead of plastic. I looked around the floor, and my rings were lying there.
Who took the rings and kept them there and why would the person do that to me just to shake the foundation of my marriage?
Oye, Tabora.
Dear Oye,
Your husband’s reaction was abusive, not just angry. Accusing you of cheating was just mean.
Rings don’t prove fidelity, trust does. Your response was fair: taking rings off to wash is normal, and cheating has nothing to do with it.
The fact that the rings ‘mysteriously’ ended up in your bags suggests someone moved them deliberately to cause conflict. A partner who jumps to punishment instead of problem-solving will do it again when the next misunderstanding happens.
If indeed your husband threatened and pushed you out, kindly talk to someone you trust in the family or a counsellor before moving back in. If you choose to stay, your husband needs to apologise and let peace to reign.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My life started falling apart the very day I got married. I started experiencing a series of unfortunate events, which nearly broke me.
In the first year into our marriage, I lost a very lucrative job when my wife was pregnant.
I was scheduled for an interview at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital.
Immediately I got down from a taxi, out of nowhere, a motorbike at full speed knocked me down. I broke my leg and was admitted to the hospital for three months.
I lost the opportunity for the breakthrough. Since then, things have become difficult for my family. Is my problem spiritual or what?
Mawuli, Keta.
Dear Mawuli,
Stop linking your hardships to your wedding. Job loss, accidents, and unemployment are painful situations but that doesn’t mean your marriage is cursed.
In life, there are misfortunes and I urge you to continue to pray hard and wait upon the lord.
Focus on what you can control right now: your health, your finances, and your mental health.
Focus on your leg, take any work to build momentum, and consider therapy to break the “everything is a spiritual attack” cycle. Talk honestly with your wife; you two are a team, not the problem.
