Obaa Yaa
Our maid is pregnant
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My family hired the services of a maid to help in caring for our child since the two of us are civil servants. Our greatest worry is that this girl is pregnant but hails from a poor family.
The parent’s greatest wish was that she must raise some money to enable them send her to school.
As Christians who know the essence of education and having considered how poor and helpless her parents gave us much concern.
We decided to end the contract since it would be difficult to retain her in the house.
My wife was disturbed about how her stay with us has ended and wished that we keep the maid under our care but I disagreed with her proposal because the longer we allow her to stay in the house, the more complex our problem will be.
Do you think we have acted responsibly in this case?
Kwame, Accra.
Dear Kwame,
This can be likened to a breach of contract, however you have acted humanely and this is a character of a true Christian.
The decision to let her go is the best because keeping her with you will automatically add more cost to your expenditure and increase your stress by ensuring her welfare. Thank God that the fault did not come from you.
You ought to know the gentleman who has impregnated her, know the boy’s parents and inform the parents of the maid about what has happened. These are the initial steps you have to take before you send the maid to her parents.
Try to buy her some parting gifts, maintain a good relationship between you and her parents to monitor her progress in life.
At this stage she may be traumatised so handle her with care and teach her the appropriate steps to take
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Before we got married five years ago, my husband told me that his former wife left him shortly after he lost his job following a financial scandal which rocked the company.
But thanks be to God that the court cleared him and ordered the company to pay him for the five years he stayed at home for wrongful dismissal.
As soon as this ex-wife heard that the company had complied with the court’s orders and paid him, she shamelessly declared that she was making a comeback and has vowed to kick me out of my matrimonial home at all cost.
She promised to hire ‘machomen’ to throw my things out of the house and was prepared to bear the consequence for that action.
Even though my husband has assured me that this would never happen, her ex is bent on disturbing my peace.
What should I do?
Adzo,
Tafo.
Dear Bertha,
The lady is threatening to use violence against you. That’s constitutes a breach of the law and she must be reported to the police for issuing those threats.
However, I will advise you to discuss it with your husband so that you are not seen as acting entirely on your own.
As a matter of fact, it is only the police that can handle this matter professionally and must be involved, unless of course your husband talks to his ex-wife to stop harassing you. So have a good discussion with your husband about the matter. All the best.
