Obaa Yaa
I love him and his child
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We met in church and have since become very close to the extent that people refer to us as siblings. Though we stay far from each other, we make time to meet at the least opportunity during the day.
With time, l got to know that he has a child with a lady but has not married her due to the threats he had received from her parents.
He told me he had lost interest in the lady because of the sudden change in her behaviour.
What made matters worse was that her parents said they would not allow me to marry their daughter because l was poor and she would suffer if l married her.
Though matters had gone this way, he loved this lady and they often talked about their child. The two of us have decided not to indulge in sex throughout the period of our courtship and thank God we have kept to this promise.
We enjoyed the best of life, no quarrels and we always tried to patch up any misunderstanding between us.
My fear is that since l have not received any confirmation from him, don’t you think he can possibly go back for this girl, since they have a child?
Mary, Accra.
Dear Mary,
I think you have met a good young man who can support you as a reliable husband.
Judging from what you have said about the two former lovers, the possibility of the two coming together is great.
Secondly, the young man’s fortune could change to pave the way for re-marriage. Should this happen, you have nothing to lose because you have played it safe by not indulging in sex, which could probably cloud your ability to take the right decision.
This lady could easily convince people that you have forcefully taken her husband from her.
You could be jumping before the horse, therefore, control yourself and see how things will unfold as time goes by.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
