Obaa Yaa
I love him and his child
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We met in church and have since become very close to the extent that people refer to us as siblings. Though we stay far from each other, we make time to meet at the least opportunity during the day.
With time, l got to know that he has a child with a lady but has not married her due to the threats he had received from her parents.
He told me he had lost interest in the lady because of the sudden change in her behaviour.
What made matters worse was that her parents said they would not allow me to marry their daughter because l was poor and she would suffer if l married her.
Though matters had gone this way, he loved this lady and they often talked about their child. The two of us have decided not to indulge in sex throughout the period of our courtship and thank God we have kept to this promise.
We enjoyed the best of life, no quarrels and we always tried to patch up any misunderstanding between us.
My fear is that since l have not received any confirmation from him, don’t you think he can possibly go back for this girl, since they have a child?
Mary, Accra.
Dear Mary,
I think you have met a good young man who can support you as a reliable husband.
Judging from what you have said about the two former lovers, the possibility of the two coming together is great.
Secondly, the young man’s fortune could change to pave the way for re-marriage. Should this happen, you have nothing to lose because you have played it safe by not indulging in sex, which could probably cloud your ability to take the right decision.
This lady could easily convince people that you have forcefully taken her husband from her.
You could be jumping before the horse, therefore, control yourself and see how things will unfold as time goes by.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.
He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.
When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.
He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.
I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.
Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?
Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.
Dear Araba,
FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.
Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.
So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.
However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.
Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.
Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.
As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.
I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.
My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.
Please advise me.
Amevi, Ho.
Dear Amevi,
THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.
There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.
You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.
If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.
If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.
