Obaa Yaa
I cannot do without this lady
I met this pretty lady in church and l must confess that everything about her attracts me and for that matter l have decided to do all within my means to marry her.
My friends who are aware of my decision to marry this lady are in support of it and even eager to see this day come to pass.
However, l am entertaining fears that my parents will not agree that l marry this lady because she has a child.
Aware that she has a child, l have given her the assurance that l will love her and also love her child.
But no amount of explanation could change the minds of my parents that things would be better and that this marriage could be an exception.
Despite the stance of my parents, my lady keeps encouraging me to keep my cool and try to win the consent of my parents.
She is hard working, submissive and can easily adapt to situations and, therefore, has the capability to win their hearts if granted the opportunity to spend a few days with them.
Indeed, l think this is the lady l have to marry no matter the frustrations in my life. What can l do in order to win the favour of my parents?
Kwame, Sunyani.
Dear Kwame,
There are instances one can be certain that experience is the best teacher.
Your parents’ decision to prevent you from marrying this lady could be from an experience they might have had. Therefore, they are trying to prevent you from falling into a similar problem.
The possibility of having problems with a step child is great because any attempt to discipline the child will be misconstrued. Some parents have problems controlling their biological children, let alone a step child.
On the contrary, there are exceptions in every situation and if the child is submissive and lives up to expectation, then you must count yourself a lucky husband.
You ought to convince your parents that your wife-to-be, is loving, caring and has some positive sides. Additionally, a lady who has no child could become a monster in the house.
It is also good that lovers who have gone through courtship and realised that they are compatible, should be given the opportunity to marry.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We are a family of three—my dad, mom, and myself, being the only daughter of my parents.
My dad provided everything we needed; he was a very fun-loving man and the backbone of our family. He was always ready to give us jokes and anecdotes before going to bed, making our lives full of laughter and love.
One morning, I woke up to an eerie silence. I called out for my dad, but there was no response. We were all shocked, confused, and grief-stricken because daddy was our backbone—our emotional and financial support, the one who made us smile no matter the storms we were facing. We kept asking, what did he do wrong?
Lady Tina, Akosombo
Advice
Dear Tina,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a loved one, especially in a tragic and unexpected manner, is incredibly painful.
Here are some steps you can take to cope and move forward:
- Seek justice and support: If your dad’s death involved wrongdoing, cooperate fully with the authorities as they work to identify the perpetrator.
- Lean on your support network: Reach out to trusted family friends, relatives, or a therapist for emotional support during this difficult time.
- Care for yourselves: It is very important to take care of both your mom’s and your physical and emotional well-being. Grieving is a process, and everyone copes differently.
- Be gentle with yourself: Allow yourself time to grieve and heal. Do not hesitate to seek help whenever needed.
Remember, Tina, it’s okay to lean on others and take things one day at a time.
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Dear Counselor,
I have decided to put this into writing to seek your advice and counsel. I am a 21-year-old girl who completed Senior High School (SHS) three years ago and am currently at home.
During my Basic School and SHS days, I had two mutual friends I always moved along with. We stayed in the same apartment, went to the same schools from basic level to senior high school. We literally did everything together, and our friendship was so strong that everyone thought we were sisters.
We all gained admission into the University, but I could not join them because things were bad financially for my parents. They could not afford my fees to register my courses, so I had no other option than to stay home.
As a result of my situation, my friends no longer relate to me as they did earlier. They take decisions without me, make me feel inferior, and leave me out. Their behaviour, gestures, and negative body language say it all. I was completely broken when they told me I no longer fit into their circle of friendship.
Jessica, Lashibi
Advice
Dear Jessica,
It is really sad that your friends are behaving this way toward you. Here are some steps you can consider:
- Seek clarification: Approach them calmly and ask why they have been acting this way. You cannot live by assumptions alone.
- Value yourself: Even though some friendships do not last forever, being emotionally drained is not the best option. Your 10 years of memories are precious, but you also deserve respect.
- Move on if needed: If your friends continue to make you feel inferior, take a bold step and move forward without them. True friends respect and uplift each other.
- Focus on your future:
- Plan your life and look for menial jobs to cover expenses.
- Save money to further your education.
- Try online courses to prepare ahead of time.
- Apply for scholarship programs to support your studies.
Remember, Jessica, your worth is not determined by others’ approval. Surround yourself with people who respect, encourage, and celebrate your growth.
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