Obaa Yaa
I cannot do without this lady
I met this pretty lady in church and l must confess that everything about her attracts me and for that matter l have decided to do all within my means to marry her.
My friends who are aware of my decision to marry this lady are in support of it and even eager to see this day come to pass.
However, l am entertaining fears that my parents will not agree that l marry this lady because she has a child.
Aware that she has a child, l have given her the assurance that l will love her and also love her child.
But no amount of explanation could change the minds of my parents that things would be better and that this marriage could be an exception.
Despite the stance of my parents, my lady keeps encouraging me to keep my cool and try to win the consent of my parents.
She is hard working, submissive and can easily adapt to situations and, therefore, has the capability to win their hearts if granted the opportunity to spend a few days with them.
Indeed, l think this is the lady l have to marry no matter the frustrations in my life. What can l do in order to win the favour of my parents?
Kwame, Sunyani.
Dear Kwame,
There are instances one can be certain that experience is the best teacher.
Your parents’ decision to prevent you from marrying this lady could be from an experience they might have had. Therefore, they are trying to prevent you from falling into a similar problem.
The possibility of having problems with a step child is great because any attempt to discipline the child will be misconstrued. Some parents have problems controlling their biological children, let alone a step child.
On the contrary, there are exceptions in every situation and if the child is submissive and lives up to expectation, then you must count yourself a lucky husband.
You ought to convince your parents that your wife-to-be, is loving, caring and has some positive sides. Additionally, a lady who has no child could become a monster in the house.
It is also good that lovers who have gone through courtship and realised that they are compatible, should be given the opportunity to marry.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
