Obaa Yaa
I cannot do without this lady
I met this pretty lady in church and l must confess that everything about her attracts me and for that matter l have decided to do all within my means to marry her.
My friends who are aware of my decision to marry this lady are in support of it and even eager to see this day come to pass.
However, l am entertaining fears that my parents will not agree that l marry this lady because she has a child.
Aware that she has a child, l have given her the assurance that l will love her and also love her child.
But no amount of explanation could change the minds of my parents that things would be better and that this marriage could be an exception.
Despite the stance of my parents, my lady keeps encouraging me to keep my cool and try to win the consent of my parents.
She is hard working, submissive and can easily adapt to situations and, therefore, has the capability to win their hearts if granted the opportunity to spend a few days with them.
Indeed, l think this is the lady l have to marry no matter the frustrations in my life. What can l do in order to win the favour of my parents?
Kwame, Sunyani.
Dear Kwame,
There are instances one can be certain that experience is the best teacher.
Your parents’ decision to prevent you from marrying this lady could be from an experience they might have had. Therefore, they are trying to prevent you from falling into a similar problem.
The possibility of having problems with a step child is great because any attempt to discipline the child will be misconstrued. Some parents have problems controlling their biological children, let alone a step child.
On the contrary, there are exceptions in every situation and if the child is submissive and lives up to expectation, then you must count yourself a lucky husband.
You ought to convince your parents that your wife-to-be, is loving, caring and has some positive sides. Additionally, a lady who has no child could become a monster in the house.
It is also good that lovers who have gone through courtship and realised that they are compatible, should be given the opportunity to marry.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I took off my wedding rings but could not find it again. I was washing when I took them off and placed them on a wall close to me. Honestly, after washing I forgot to pick them up until the evening, when my husband asked where my ring were, I quickly dashed out of the room to check where I had placed them, but they were not there. My husband made it clear that I was cheating that was why I could take my rings off and lose them.
I was packing to leave the house when the bags fell and I heard a tinkling sound of metals instead of plastic. I looked around the floor, and my rings were lying there.
Who took the rings and kept them there and why would the person do that to me just to shake the foundation of my marriage?
Oye, Tabora.
Dear Oye,
Your husband’s reaction was abusive, not just angry. Accusing you of cheating was just mean.
Rings don’t prove fidelity, trust does. Your response was fair: taking rings off to wash is normal, and cheating has nothing to do with it.
The fact that the rings ‘mysteriously’ ended up in your bags suggests someone moved them deliberately to cause conflict. A partner who jumps to punishment instead of problem-solving will do it again when the next misunderstanding happens.
If indeed your husband threatened and pushed you out, kindly talk to someone you trust in the family or a counsellor before moving back in. If you choose to stay, your husband needs to apologise and let peace to reign.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My life started falling apart the very day I got married. I started experiencing a series of unfortunate events, which nearly broke me.
In the first year into our marriage, I lost a very lucrative job when my wife was pregnant.
I was scheduled for an interview at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital.
Immediately I got down from a taxi, out of nowhere, a motorbike at full speed knocked me down. I broke my leg and was admitted to the hospital for three months.
I lost the opportunity for the breakthrough. Since then, things have become difficult for my family. Is my problem spiritual or what?
Mawuli, Keta.
Dear Mawuli,
Stop linking your hardships to your wedding. Job loss, accidents, and unemployment are painful situations but that doesn’t mean your marriage is cursed.
In life, there are misfortunes and I urge you to continue to pray hard and wait upon the lord.
Focus on what you can control right now: your health, your finances, and your mental health.
Focus on your leg, take any work to build momentum, and consider therapy to break the “everything is a spiritual attack” cycle. Talk honestly with your wife; you two are a team, not the problem.
