Obaa Yaa
I cannot do without this lady
I met this pretty lady in church and l must confess that everything about her attracts me and for that matter l have decided to do all within my means to marry her.
My friends who are aware of my decision to marry this lady are in support of it and even eager to see this day come to pass.
However, l am entertaining fears that my parents will not agree that l marry this lady because she has a child.
Aware that she has a child, l have given her the assurance that l will love her and also love her child.
But no amount of explanation could change the minds of my parents that things would be better and that this marriage could be an exception.
Despite the stance of my parents, my lady keeps encouraging me to keep my cool and try to win the consent of my parents.
She is hard working, submissive and can easily adapt to situations and, therefore, has the capability to win their hearts if granted the opportunity to spend a few days with them.
Indeed, l think this is the lady l have to marry no matter the frustrations in my life. What can l do in order to win the favour of my parents?
Kwame, Sunyani.
Dear Kwame,
There are instances one can be certain that experience is the best teacher.
Your parents’ decision to prevent you from marrying this lady could be from an experience they might have had. Therefore, they are trying to prevent you from falling into a similar problem.
The possibility of having problems with a step child is great because any attempt to discipline the child will be misconstrued. Some parents have problems controlling their biological children, let alone a step child.
On the contrary, there are exceptions in every situation and if the child is submissive and lives up to expectation, then you must count yourself a lucky husband.
You ought to convince your parents that your wife-to-be, is loving, caring and has some positive sides. Additionally, a lady who has no child could become a monster in the house.
It is also good that lovers who have gone through courtship and realised that they are compatible, should be given the opportunity to marry.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.
He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.
When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.
He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.
I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.
Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?
Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.
Dear Araba,
FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.
Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.
So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.
However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.
Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.
Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.
As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.
I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.
My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.
Please advise me.
Amevi, Ho.
Dear Amevi,
THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.
There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.
You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.
If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.
If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.
