Obaa Yaa
He promised to pay my school fees
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Dear ObaaYaa,
I dropped out of school when my father lost his job and things became very tough for the family to get the daily three square meals.
A friend of mine took the opportunity and introduced me to a man who became my “Sugar Daddy”. Although that man had promised to help me pursue my education, which i treasured so much, l did not feel comfortable because he is married with children.
I have made enquiries to discover that this man who has promised to assist me to realise my educational dreams, does not cater for his own children and have incurred the displeasure of his family and other people.
I further learnt that the family responsibility rested solely on his wife who has to do several jobs to pay the school fees of the children.
I feel guilty and would like to back out of the relationship.
Would i be seen to offend him in any way?
Celestine, Accra.
Dear Celestine,
Count yourself blessed because you have been saved from an eminent problem which could have ruined your life.
Though you needed help to further your education and get a little relief from economic problems, you could have landed in a more serious problem which could have compounded your existing problem.
Your decision to conduct background checks on this man has really saved the situation. He could have impregnated you and messed up your life in the process.
That is why the word of God frowns on pre- marital sex at the beginning of a relationship.
Endeavour to engage in petty trading as a means of livelihood and if possible you can save a little towards your education.
Those who can genuinely give to support others are very few while majority operate as wolfs in sheep clothing.
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
