Obaa Yaa
He promised to pay my school fees
Dear ObaaYaa,
I dropped out of school when my father lost his job and things became very tough for the family to get the daily three square meals.
A friend of mine took the opportunity and introduced me to a man who became my “Sugar Daddy”. Although that man had promised to help me pursue my education, which i treasured so much, l did not feel comfortable because he is married with children.
I have made enquiries to discover that this man who has promised to assist me to realise my educational dreams, does not cater for his own children and have incurred the displeasure of his family and other people.
I further learnt that the family responsibility rested solely on his wife who has to do several jobs to pay the school fees of the children.
I feel guilty and would like to back out of the relationship.
Would i be seen to offend him in any way?
Celestine, Accra.
Dear Celestine,
Count yourself blessed because you have been saved from an eminent problem which could have ruined your life.
Though you needed help to further your education and get a little relief from economic problems, you could have landed in a more serious problem which could have compounded your existing problem.
Your decision to conduct background checks on this man has really saved the situation. He could have impregnated you and messed up your life in the process.
That is why the word of God frowns on pre- marital sex at the beginning of a relationship.
Endeavour to engage in petty trading as a means of livelihood and if possible you can save a little towards your education.
Those who can genuinely give to support others are very few while majority operate as wolfs in sheep clothing.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Due to a small misunderstanding, my wife has left her matrimonial home and had gone to stay with my in-laws. I have been invited by them to come for the matter to be settled.
However, I have been reliably informed that my wife and my three-year-old son are currently staying with a man.
This is so annoying, I want to call in the police to arrest and charge this man for abduction.
Philip,
Accra.
Dear Philip,
You don’t have a problem with this man. You have a problem with your wife.
Also, do not rely on hearsay to act. I suggest you go to your In-laws to ask of your wife and listen to what they have to say.
Go along with a mature member of your family and discuss the issue.
If it is just a ‘small misunderstanding’ as you say then let your attitude lead to reconciliation.
If it is true that your wife is living with a man and her parents endorse it then that is another matter.
Your family must meet her family squarely on the matter to decide whether your marriage to their daughter is over or not.
But don’t go for a divorce no matter how complicated things may turn out to be. You owe your child his happiness. The police is a last resort.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl of 25 years. My fiancé is 30 years. We met about three years ago when my fiancé was in training college. The plan was to get married after his schooling so we started making initial preparations towards that.
Now, my fiancé has started working in readiness to carry on with the engagement but his father says he should hold on because he started work not long ago.
His father doesn’t object to our relationship but he insists that my fiancé should further his education at the University before the engagement.
He warned, however, that if we insist on carrying out with the engagement, then he should be counted out. He would have nothing to do with his son again.
My fiancé also thinks marriage without the consent of the father can be disastrous because the Bible even talks about honouring one’s parents.
Obaa Yaa, my problem is that I cannot wait any longer. I feel like walking out of the relationship because my fiancé is being dictated to by the father. Please what should I do.
Ekua,
Obom.
Dear Ekua,
Probably your fiancé’s father is concerned about a better future for the two of you since marriage can be financially demanding.
What you are calling ‘engagement’ is customary marriage.
I believe you need to accept your boyfriend’s father’s advice and also use the opportunity to either further your education or be financially stable.
It is good to be married but it is better both partners are financially stable so that both of you will not be financially or emotionally drained in the marriage.
Real security is when you and your partner have no ulterior motive for marrying each other but for the sake of mutual love and respect which is based on the fear of God.
