Obaa Yaa
I still love my ex-boyfriend
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Dear ObaaYaa,
I am married to a businessman who travels the length and breadth of the country, meeting business partners and always making efforts to increase his stock of goods.
His insatiable desire to become one of the richest businessmen in the country has led him to make more enemies.
He has made money his best friend and excluded everything and has even refused to take interest in me, his wife.
Though l have made my concern known to him, l am not happy because he seems not to be bothered about it and is still going about his business.
How I wished he was around me always, especially when l need him more to fill the vacuum in my life but it is not so.
Unfortunately, a friend proposed a gentleman to me who would keep me company and this has ended in a deep love between us and i find it difficult to stop this.
What should l l do to stop this relationship?
Aku, Kumasi
Dear MaameAkua,
Though the Bible enjoins one to work hard in order to earn a living, one is supposed to do that in moderation by taking into consideration other factors.
Your man cannot give any excuse for the total neglect of his family and solely depend on his business to the detriment of your marriage. He should remember that he has no authority over his body likewise you.
You should once again attempt talking to your husband and let him understand the harm that he is causing to you.
There is the possibility that he has a secret lover or lovers who might have been comforting his bed on his numerous travels and he does not see the essence of satisfying you at home.
Alternatively, it could be that your husband is deeply engrossed in his business and has, therefore, relegated other interests to the background.
As a wife, you should stop the relationship with your new-found lover who has taken over the place of your husband.
Though your husband is not playing his marital role well, this should not give you the privilege to take another man so long as you remain married to him.
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
