Obaa Yaa
My husband declines medical check up
Dear ObaaYaa,
We have been married for six years and l cannot remember the month in which l missed my menstrual period. I had undergone medical examinations at the hospital and the results were the same that there was no problem with me.
Based on the outcome of the results, the doctor requested that my husband should report at the hospital to undergo the appropriate tests to ascertain the problem, but he would not listen to my plea and the insistence of the doctor to go to the hospital.
My greatest concern is the pressure his family is pilling on me for a baby.
I am confused about the conduct of my husband and do not know what to do.
Should l reveal the secret to his family about his refusal to go for the test at the hospital?
Gladys, Accra.
Dear Gladys,
I share in your frustration and the incessant pressure on you though it is not your fault. Irrespective of the difficulties being encountered, it is too early for you to throw your hands in desperation.
Since the challenges are daunting, you have to explore or exhaust the available avenues in the marriage to resolve what seems to be going wrong.
This is a dicey issue which must be handled with great care otherwise it will explode and possibly cause the disintegration of your marriage. Though the pressure keeps coming, let the secret be between you and your husband. It is likely the family is equally pilling pressure on him as well, only that he has decided not to mention it to you.
You have to employ the tricks under your sleeves, combined with love and convince him not to be afraid but go to the hospital.
It is my belief that if he is in dire need of fathering a child, he will go for the check.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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