Obaa Yaa
He is too bossy
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM in a relationship with a man I love very much but he upsets me a lot with his bossy attitude.
He also expects me to come to his house to clean-up, wash and iron for him regularly.
When I fail to do so, sometimes he threatens to break-up with me, saying I am lazy.
The idea of marrying this man frightens me sometimes, or am I the one giving out wrong signals?
Abi, Dansoman.
Dear Abi,
ATTITUDES in a relationship are often set unconsciously before a couple marry. Greetings.
In marriages one tries to adjust and stop living the pretense, he or she disappoints the other partner, thus causing problems.
Your man must understand that marriage or a premarital relationship only works well on a foundation of mutual respect and partnership.
He, therefore, should show gratitude when you do him the favour of cleaning up for him. He has no right to throw a tantrum when you don’t, especially when he has not even married you.
What is really disturbing is the fact that he gives you the options to be a ‘good servant’ or lose him.
A relationship is not a ‘master and servant’ affair. You would be better off losing him than being in a relationship where your partner or spouse regards you only as a servant.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
OUR father worked with a company (name withheld) for seven years. On his employment, he was not given any appointment letter.
This meant that he was a casual worker for all these years and finally resigned in January, 2026 without any end of service benefit.
Our father is a peacemaker and this is making us lose a lot of the things we were supposed to get. People took advantage of my father because he was a quiet man and always doesn’t want to step on people’s toes.
What action should we take against this company and where? And, please, if someone wants to resign from work, how many months’ notice does the person give?
Adu Sarpong, Accra.
Dear Adu Sarpong,
THE status of a permanent worker is different from that of a casual worker. Similarly, the benefits differ.
If your daddy was not given any employment letter, it means he was taken on casual basis. A casual worker can leave employment without any notice. He can also be laid off without any notice.
So it would be a breach of the labour rules for your father’s employers to make him a casual worker for seven years, however, I don’t think you need a court action to resolve this matter.
It is an administrative lapse and compensation that can be given to resolve all issues. Kindly see the management of your father’s employers and discuss the issue with them for an amicable settlement.
He was given no letter
Dear Obaa Yaa,
OUR father worked with a company (name withheld) for seven years. On his employment, he was not given any appointment letter.
This meant that he was a casual worker for all these years and finally resigned in January, 2026 without any end of service benefit.
Our father is a peacemaker and this is making us lose a lot of the things we were supposed to get. People took advantage of my father because he was a quiet man and always doesn’t want to step on people’s toes.
What action should we take against this company and where? And, please, if someone wants to resign from work, how many months’ notice does the person give?
Adu Sarpong, Accra.
Dear Adu Sarpong,
THE status of a permanent worker is different from that of a casual worker. Similarly, the benefits differ.
If your daddy was not given any employment letter, it means he was taken on casual basis. A casual worker can leave employment without any notice. He can also be laid off without any notice.
So it would be a breach of the labour rules for your father’s employers to make him a casual worker for seven years, however, I don’t think you need a court action to resolve this matter.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM really disturbed about the new meaning of the word ‘Love’ in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship (not in marriage). I feel love should not be based on sexual intercourse.
What do our men mean when they say to a woman ‘I love you’ and what is our women’s understanding of the response ‘I love you too’?
Personally, I have come to understand that most of the time when a man says he loves a woman, all he means and needs is sexual intercourse, and when a woman responds ‘I love you too,’ she also means marriage.
This small research can be confirmed by Walter Trobisch in his book entitled I Married You.
At this juncture, I would like you to use your column to find out from some of our men and women what they really mean when they say to each other ‘I love you.’
Yaa Baby, Takoradi.
Greetings
Dear Yaa Baby,
I MUST say you are quite right to say that the expression of ‘love’ is beginning to take a different meaning.
People seem to have a motive when they say ‘I love you’ to the opposite sex. It may be that they pretend to love just for sex, marriage, or money.
What this does is that the pledge ‘I love you’ leads more gullible partners to disappointment and hurt, while the deceitful partner may also, in the end, fall into their own trap.
So, with the widespread abuse of the phrase ‘I love you,’ men and women should not hasten to believe anyone who says it to them. Even after starting a relationship with their partners, they must continue to observe their actions to ensure the pledge is genuine, not just words.
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