Obaa Yaa
Financial requests are overwhelming
I am a lady in my late thirties. My biological parents are alive and kicking but none of them seems to care about whatever happens in my life. I do not live with them at the moment as I have managed to secure a job and now live at my own residence in another town.
They do not seem concerned about my wellbeing. All they do is ask for money anytime they call me on phone. Although they both played their roles in the early stages of my growth, I managed to further my education to the tertiary level without any financial support from them. In the past months, I have had different forms of financial request from my mother and father, some of which included the request on me to transfer money for them to complete
their building project, request to support a funeral at my hometown, among other monetary demands.
Since I became an adult, I have never had any form of advice from them on how to live the rest of my life. The financial requests seem to be their main focus and I am beginning to wonder whether I was born purposely for a ‘philanthropic mission’ in my family, especially towards my mother and father. Please advise me on this issue.
Mavis, Adukrom
Dear Mavis,
You sound overwhelmed by the financial commitments you make to your parents and that is understandable especially when your income may not be sufficient to meet all their needs. It is not a bad idea to support your parents as there is blessing in reaching out to them.
However, you should as much as possible respond to the requests that are within your means so you do not feel overburdened. Do communicate your challenges to them in a respectful manner so they understand that you may not be able to meet all their demands.
I am in my final year in the university. My elder sister has been very supportive after the death of our parents.
My sister has a boyfriend who visits often. Anytime he comes around, she wonders why I don’t entertain him and why I suddenly find an excuse to leave the room. She takes it as me being cold, even jealous, and it angers her more than I can even imagine.
She has no idea about what is going on behind her back. He has asked me out on several occasions and looks at me in a lustful manner.
But my problem is that I never told my sister the real reason I avoid her boyfriend. I have kept my distance, not out of hate for her or for him, but because I carry a secret that would break her heart.
Princess, Tema.
Dear Princess,
Why are you keeping this away from your sister? As long as you continue to live under the same roof with your sister, tell her about her boyfriend’s behaviour.
Have you by any chance confided in any relative? I’ll advise you to open up to someone, at least to take the weight off your shoulder.
Act fast before the situation exacerbates.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 23 years who lives in a compound house around Kasoa in the Central Region. I live with my auntie.
We are not always at home because she spends most of the time at the market due to her business, and I am mostly on campus.
One sunny afternoon, I overheard some tenants talking about another who takes her bath in a basin and throws the water away. We have two big bathrooms, but just because she doesn’t want to scrub, she has refused to bathe there.
Although she is usually not around due to her work as a nurse, it doesn’t warrant her to do as she pleases. We have spoken to the landlord about it, but she seems unconcerned. What should I do?
Beatrice, Accra
Dear Beatrice,
I am surprised that your landlord seems unperturbed.
Have you considered having a conversation with the tenant to find out why she ignores the chores? She does not seem bothered about the kind of perception the other tenants have about her.
Why would a young lady who is a nurse and an advocate for healthy living be this lazy and unconcerned about her surroundings?
No excuse should be tolerated just because she’s a nurse and mostly not around.
